Little Bitchass And The Giantess Island Day Spa Scam

OK.... somebody's gonna pay. I was having a pretty good day yesterday, until I made the mistake of taking advantage of this free offer of a day at a spa on a tropical island. How can that be a mistake you say? Well I'm about to tell you......

I was stupid. I shoulda known that no spa would ever send a plane ticket to a tropical isle, for starters. But I packed a change of panties and went anyway. The first sign of trouble was when the plane turned out to be so old it was made out of wood. Pretty soon, I saw an island below us. I knew something was really wrong when the stewardess, who's name was Tattoo, pushed me out of the door of the plane wearing a parachute made out of old bedsheets. The parachute didn't slow me down very much, so I tried to help by holding my extra pair of panties over my head. As I fell screaming like a banshee towards the water below, I couldn't help but wonder if this spa offer might not be a scam of some sort. I hit the water, landing right in the middle of a flock of giant sharks, but for some reason, they pretty much shied away from me. So I turned towards the island, and using my boobs for floaties, swam my ass off in the direction of the beach.

Once on the beach, I was welcomed by a very large and very inquisitive blonde who I recognized as Giantess Gretchen. She picked me up by the neck and at first I thought it was gonna be a lot of fun, because she plunked me down into her bra between her soft, zeppelin sized boobs. There was another tiny human nearby, but I couldn't tell if he was a native or a visitor, because of the dense cloud of acrid smoke that always seemed to hover around him. I found out soon enough that he was a visitor too, when the friendly Giantess decided to get playful and started chasing us both around, trying to squish us into the sand. Then, she decided to play "airplanes" with us. She was having the greatest of times, making airplane and machine noises, and tossing us up and down the beach like gliders.

After one of her particularly long heaves, I landed right in front of my old friend Billy, who with a maniacal gleam in his eyes was holding up a sign that read, "Welcome to Deviant Pervert Roast, Little Bitchass". Things went pretty much downhill for me from this point on. It seems that I had been had, and that the offer of the day at the spa was a setup to get me out to the island so I could become a playtoy for Giantess Gretchen. Billy seemed bent on convincing Giantess Gretchen that I was evil incarnate. Now, everybody but Giantess Gretchen probably knows by now that I am a sweetie and never hurt nobody in my life. If you don't believe me, ask Princess Grace or Miss Tara, who oddly enough, were nowhere to be found while I was trying desperately to talk my way out of trouble.

Billy kept up his non-stop accusations, weaving a masterful web of deceit, and eventually convincing the otherwise well meaning Giantess that I was indeed the devils spawn. Lie after lie rained down (or maybe up) on Giantess Gretchen's ears. I finally started to see the handwriting on the wall, and decided to call in the big guns, who in this case happened to be a little dick. I didn't catch it at the time, but after calling Tracer on the cell, he was on the beach in front of me in only 5 minutes. I was beginning to smell a rat....

Tracer seemed to have a little problem with the retainer check that I had given Friday for just such an emergency, and instantly he turned on me and provided further damning evidence of my involvement in the blackest of evil doings. He even accused me of plotting to poison Giantess Gretchen with barrels of radioactive pineapple juice. Soon, other friends emerged from the lush vegetation and onto the beach, where they all performed the most amazing pile-on that I've ever seen. I have to hand it to them all, they were good.

The ever angelic Woomba LeGree was there, accusing me of everything from throwing his stupid tomato plants into the bay to drilling holes in the bottom of his boat and sinking it. He even fabricated a huge lie about me planning to slingshot Giantess Gretchen in the ass with green grapes. No matter how absurd the lies became, the not-so-gentle Giantess bought into them.

One after another, more of my friends showed up... Ace.... (name removed due to threat of litigation)... Asia.... all adding to the false testimony against me. Even people who I had never met before were chiming in with "Yes! She's evil! Burn her!" A conspicuous absentee was my pal Friday, who I assume was on the phone with MsGrace, like she usually is during most of her waking hours. I can't blame Friday though... MsGrace is a real knockout and she just happens to be my Mistress too.

So after hours of torturous testimoany (spelling intended, btw), the Prosecution rested, and evidently so did my Defense, the ever loyal Tracer (Benedict Arnold) Bullet Billy, who was busy chasing around a cute little island girl and offering her Thin Mints. Giantess Gretchen took all of 30 seconds to decide my fate. Guilty!

I was put into a large cage, which turned out to be a supersized version of one of those wheels that hamsters run on. The ever-friendly Giantess lit a humongous candle under the wheel, so I'd have to keep running or burn my bare feet, which unfortunately had lost their shoes in the fall from the plane. Giantess Gretchen and all of my "friends" seemed to get the greatest pleasure out of watching my eee's smack me in the face as I ran terrified on the wheel. Tracer even left the little island girl alone long enough to come watch the gruesome spectacle while he ate popcorn and took pictures.

I eventually got so exhausted that I couldn't run any longer and so I confessed to everything to make them stop. I was let out of the wheel, and seeing an opportunity, made a dash for the beach. Running on tiptoe in beach sand because your feet are blistered is not the fastest way to run, so I was caught almost immediately and flicked out beyond the shark reef again. As I sailed out over the water, I heard Giantess Gretchen's booming voice talking about volcano sacrifices, but that was the least of my worries at the moment. The sharks waited for me to fall, wearing lobster bibs and holding forks in their fins. I splashed down in the middle of them and batted at them to keep them away. I suddenly remembered the perfume gun that Friday had given me and began firing away at the now terrified sharks. The sharks began gagging and coughing, and that gave me time to swim to shore. I was careful to come out of the water at the farthest end of the beach from Giantess Gretchen and all my traitorous friends. While there, I saw some of the prettiest and most aromatic flowers that you have ever seen, so on an impulse, I rubbed them all over my body like perfume.... so much sweeter than the vile trash that Friday uses.

I became aware of the sound of laughter echoing up the beach from the direction of my tormentors. "I see you found the mutant poison sumac", the Jokester Giantess chortled.... I considered giving myself up, but about that time, the pineapple juice took effect, and the Giantess became sleepy. She headed off to bed, which gave me time to build a raft and float back to civilization.

So here I am, back home again with blistered feet, and rolling around on the carpet trying to get some relief from this hellish itching. I took names during my time in hell, and I will be sure to repay all of you bastards who participated in due time. Just as soon as my rash heals, that is.

You're all goin' down!

little (better watch your back) bitchass