Has It Really Been That Long?

The Chastity Queen

This journey began in the early days of 2014, when I started to become close with Ms. Constance, the gorgeous Mistress that you see over to your left.  As time went on, I started hearing bits and pieces about how Ms Constance liked chastity play and control.

Now, I had dabbled in chastity play during my previous stay at LDW, and even had a few fairly extended stays in my pink CB2000 chastity cage, so I wasn't a total stranger to the process. I started to see blog posts that got me to thinking I might like to try it again, but I really wasn't thinking of anything long-term. And so I dug out the old cage and cleaned it up, and gave it a few trial runs of a couple of days each to see if I could still tolerate it, and eventually wore it for a whole week.

Then, one day while reading some of the Ladies' blogs, I came across this seemingly innocent little post in Ms Constance's blog. The farther into the post that I read, the more I started to remember what it was that I liked so much about chastity when I did it before, and that is giving control of my orgasms up to someone else.  The more I read, the more I became convinced that I wanted to give this control to Ms Constance. I was getting more and more excited and the post was dropping me into subspace. The urge to experience chastity again was getting stronger and stronger.  After some blog comments and instant messages between us, Ms Constance said that we could do some chastity play in the future, but at the same time, she never gave any indication that she might want to lock me up any time soon.

One thing that I did ask her was that if she ever did lock me up, I'd like to have the opportunity to at some point break my own record for my longest stay in chastity, which was 78 days. All she said was, "consider it broken!"  Knowing what I know now, if she'd been on a webcam, I think I would've seen her face light up and her hands rubbing together.

So, I thought it would be a good idea to be ready for when she decided that she wanted to lock me up.  When I first got the cage, back around 2007 , it had taken me a few weeks of wearing it to get myself broken in and stretched in the right places, so I decided on my own to wear the cage for another full week.  Things went fairly well, with some minor discomfort here and there, and near the end of the week when I was a day away from taking it back off, I was in an IM conversation with Ms Constance when she suddenly shifted gears.  She told me that from that point on, I was not to take off the cage again without her permission, and that all decisions involving me were now hers to make.  I was also told that I was not permitted to rub through the bars or manipulate the cage in an attempt to get off.  I think I was in shock, and floored by how quickly she moved on it.  Just that quickly, I was now her chastity slave and found myself without any say in anything that happened from then on. She told me that from now on I could only make requests, and that she would consider them.  She now owned not only my clitty and balls, but also the rest of me as well.  The whole process happened so fast that I almost didn't know what had just hit me.  All I knew was that it felt like all of my hot buttons had just gotten pressed hard at the same time.

The next day I did a call with Ms Constance where she instructed me on the rules that I was expected to follow.  I then removed the keyed lock and replaced it with a plastic lock with a serial number on it, and then read the number on the lock to her.  I was told she'd be checking on that lock from time to time to be sure I hadn't tampered with it or replaced it. She preferred that I have a webcam, but since I didn't, she devised another way to verify that I was complying with her rules.  She would send me an email every day containing a short phrase like "I love being locked up by Ms Constance".  Every day's phrase was different, and I was expected to write it down on a small piece of paper and place it next to her caged property, and then I was to take a closeup photo, with the lock clearly visible, and email it to her.  The photos were in high resolution so that she could zoom in and see any tiny detail that looked suspicious.

During the call, she also told me that she was going to give me credit for the week that I'd been in the cage before she finally took control.  And so, my official starting date for my lockup became March 15, 2014.

Things went rather smoothly at first.  I had no real discomfort other than some pulling on the ball sack because it hadn't had time to stretch out very much yet.  That was to be expected though.  I'm a little fuzzy on the timeline of what happened next, but the honeymoon lasted about 3 weeks before I noticed that some of the glued plastic joints in the cage were coming apart. Maybe they'd been that way for days and I'd just not noticed it before.  At any rate, movement in the tip of the cage is a bad thing, and it was obvious that it was only going to get worse and possibly come loose altogether.  I tried to think of any possible way that I might be able to fix it, but eventually came to the conclusion that it would have to be taken off.

I immediately emailed Ms Constance to tell her the bad news.  She replied right away, and after I explained the situation, she told me it was no problem, go ahead and take it off and try to fix it before it broke completely and cut me.

I can't explain how much of a disappointment it was for this to happen, already 3 weeks into the lockdown period.  I was concerned that it might disappoint Ms Constance, and also I was disappointed that the goal we were looking at had just disappeared.

I also had to ask if this meant that my day counter would be reset back to zero.  Ms Constance told me no, that she was not stopping my denial, just doing a little cage fix.  I was told to keep myself smooth for her and was not to touch anything until we could find out if the chastity device could be fixed or not.

I did a little research and decided that I needed something that would bond securely and not be affected by exposure to water and bodily fluids.  I settled on trying a solvent bond, because you use a solvent that actually melts the plastic a little, so the bond is not made by glue, but actually by "welding" the plastic pieces together.  I saw a solvent in the list that I knew we had at my job, and so I brought home a tiny bottle of it, a syringe to apply it with, and a few clamps to squeeze it together for a couple of days while the bond fully cured.  After that, I cleaned the cage and told Ms Constance that it was as ready as I could make it.  And so one week after I had to take off the cage, I was back in it again and after telling Ms Constance the number on the lock, it was snapped closed and I was happily locked up once again.

We got back into the daily routine again, until about 3 weeks later, when I felt some movement again in the same location as before.  The repaired section had come loose again.  I was allowed to take off the cage again to try another repair, switching over to "no-touch denial" while out of the cage. I already had all the supplies on hand, and so the repair was completed after only 4 days.

I'd been needing a call with Ms Constance, but she flat out stated that I needed to have the cage repaired before I could call her, but that I could leave it off until the call.  And so, after 8 weeks of denial and only a day after finishing the repair, I was on the phone with Ms Constance.

I described that call in a previous post, and so I won't go into all the little details here, except to say that I was allowed to edge 3 times by rubbing my clitty through my panties, and then just before our time was up, I was told by Ms Constance to stop and put the cage back on and lock back up.  I read the serial number off the lock to Ms Constance and then snapped the lock closed, holding the phone near the lock so that she could hear the click.  I have to say that getting that close to an orgasm (3 times, no less!) and then having to lock back up was a hard hard thing to deal with.

And so we went back to our daily routine, emailing the proof of lockup pics every day.  Then, just a few weeks later, I was cleaning the cage and felt movement again in the tip of the cage. You guessed it. It had broken loose again.  I asked Ms Constance if I could try to fix it one more time, but she told me to leave it on and see if it would make it through until the end of the lockup period.  I had no idea how long that was, but she's the boss, so I went along with her decision.

For the next week or so, even though the end of the cage stayed attached, the broken joint would spread apart whenever I'd have an attempted erection, and when the erection subsided, the two pieces would close back up and catch a piece of skin between them, which pinched me and caused really severe pain until I could get my hands down my panties to try and spread the pieces apart and pull the skin back out of the way.  This was not a very good solution for while I was at work, and so I needed to try and find a way to keep the parts from spreading apart without taking off the cage again. Luckily I found a workaround, which was to put a small, nylon wire-tie around the broken joint and tighten it to keep the two pieces from being able to spread apart.  It wasn't very elegant looking, but it seemed to work and the painful pinching was stopped.

Enjoy your retirement, old friennd...

Ms Constance was happy that I was able to resolve it, but she decided that she'd had enough of the tired old cage, and if and when we did another lockdown, the old CB2000 was going to be retired and replaced with a brand new stainless steel cage.

A Jail Bird in my future?

After the latest setback, everything seemed to calm down and we kept going forward until we got close to my old record of 78 days.  Ms Constance was not giving me any clues as to how long I would have to stay locked up after that, but she has also told me in another conversation that she liked to unlock people on round number days, which I took to mean 80, 90, 100 days or more.

Around he time that I was getting close to the target date, I was informed that in order for me to have any chance at being unlocked, I needed to buy a webcam and install it on my computer.  At the same time, I was starting to have a lot of crashes and bluescreens on the computer, and lots of issues with my XP operating system.  Because XP was now unsupported, I now had to upgrade my computer and install Windows 7 before I could even think of adding a webcam.  This process dragged on and on, and I finally go the new system up and running at about the 90 day mark.

Once the new sysyem was up and running and seemed to be stable, I went out and purchased a webcam and installed it.  I did a trial video call with Ms Constance to make sure it worked, and once it was confirmed, we set a date for a real call on the following Saturday.

When that Saturday finally arrived, I'd been locked and denied for 106 days, but to be honest, I didn't know what the exact number was until Ms Constance asked me and I had to count them up on the calendar.  We set up for the call, and at long last, I finally had Ms Constance on the line, and she was able to see me on cam, which I hoped would satisfy one of her conditions for my release.

Once we got started, Ms Constance checked me out on the cam and made me do a few twirls for her in my dress, thigh highs, and heels, and lift my dress so that she could see my panties.  I had worn a plain white pair to match a bra that I was going to wear, but decided against at the last minute because the white straps didn't look right under the shoulder straps of the dress.  I learned that wearing plain white panties during a call with her is a big no-no, and that I'd better wear something more colorful or fancy next time.

Then she walked me through learning a proper curtsey for her.  Then she asked me how many days it was since I got locked up, and here's where I hesitated, because I wasn't totally sure of the exact number of days.  We both counted up the days on our calendars and came up with the same number, 106.  She told me that she'd let it slide this time, but the next time I'm in chastity, I'd better be ready with a number when she asks me.

She then asked me if I had some things handy that I would need if she decided to release me.  I needed to have something to cut the lock, and also a container for catching any cum that might be allowed out.  I also might need lube.  Luckily I was prepared and had a pair of wircutters and some lube nearby, as well as a small condiment bowl from the kitchen.

I was told to get closer to the cam and take off my panties so she could see the locked cage and verify that the number on the lock matched the number in her records.  Once she confirmed it was the same, she told me to go ahead and cut the lock while she watched.  I figured at that point that I was either gonna be allowed to edge and then lock back up, or that I might actually be allowed to cum before the call was over!

She said to go ahead and take off the cage and cuff ring. This would probably be the last time I'd ever do this with the CB2000.  I can't describe how good it feels to slide out of that cage after being locked up in it for any amount of time.  I had some trouble getting the cuff ring off, but I was finally able to pull everything through once I put a little lube around it.  What I really wasn't prepared for is how much my clitty looked like it had shrunk, and that it didn't start getting hard from feeling the cage slide off.  Maybe that was from being on cam for the first time, I don't know.

Ms Constance then told me to sit back in my chair, put my legs up on the desk and spread them.  This turned out to not be very comfortable for my leg muscles because of the heights of the chair and desk, so she told me to just put my feet down so I'd be comfortable.  Then she told me to go ahead and start rubbing on my clitty.  It still wasn't responding very well, so I asked for and got her permission to lube up. She told me to go ahead and lube whenever I felt the need.

Things felt a lot better once they were lubed up, and I rubbed away while Ms Constance started a tease that pressed one after another of my buttons. My reluctant clitty slowly started to come around and I started to get hard, which made the rubbing feel even better. She wanted to hear me moan louder and also to moan her name as I rubbed myself into a frenzy.  I don't remember how long it took, but I eventually felt like I was getting close to the point of no return.  If Ms Constance was going to tell me to stop, we'd better not wait much longer to do it or there's be no stopping except for a possible ruined orgasm.  I told her how close I was getting, but I think she already knew.  After pushing me as close to the edge as we were gonna get, Ms Constance surprised the hell out of me and told me to get my little bowl ready, and to go ahead and cum for her into the bowl!

I rubbed hard and fast and that pushed me right over the edge.  I started to cum and vaguely remember getting the bowl where it needed to be, while I experienced one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had.  I involuntarily leaned back in the chair and threw my head back and enjoyed it until it was over. I'm not sure now if I did anything else or moaned loud enough or not, but Ms Constance can probably tell you more of the details of what went on while I was cumming than I can.  I just can't remember much else that was going on while I was leaned back in ecstacy.

I finally got to the point where I started to come out of it and was able to sit back up in my chair.  I felt like I had a constant surge of adrenaline going through my body for some time after it was over.  Ms Constance even had to ask me if I felt OK, with no chest pains or anything.  I felt good, just totally spent and buzzing like a bitch!

After I came back to my senses a little more, Ms Constance informed me that it was lucky that I'd been prepared with something to cut the lock with, because if I hadn't, she would've just kept me locked up until the next time I called.  I'm supposed to be prepared with whatever we might possibly need for a call, or I'll just have to do without it.

When I was able to think a little more clearly, Ms Constance also informed me of a few things that she expected me to do on a regular basis.  One was that she wants me smooth for calls and that I was to keep up better with my shaving.  I'm to shave every 2 or 3 days instead of letting things go to where it makes it difficult to do once I get around to it.

I also need to get in at least an hour a week of heel training, since she noticed that I was a little unsteady on them during my twirls and my curtsey lesson.

I'll need to get some fancier panties as well, and will need to work on that soon.  She also thinks that I need more jewelry to wear, like bracelets and necklaces and such, so we'll be working on that too.

My hair will keep getting longer and longer because I'm still not allowed to get it cut.

Whenever I'm allowed to edge or have an orgasm, I have to eat whatever cum or pre-cum is produced, and I aslo have to moan Ms Constance's name during the orgasm.  These are two conditions that have to be satisfied any time I'm allowed to cum in the future.

And then our time was up, but before we closed the call I was told that since it was Saturday night, I would be completely free and allowed to have as many orgasms as I liked until Sunday night at midnight.  After that, it was back to "No-touch denial" until further notice.  I was also told not to mention that I was unlocked for a couple of days so she could be the first to announce it during her Kink Korner show the following Wednesday.

And then we said our goodnights and disconnected.

I sat there and relaxed for awhile as Ms Constance had suggested, and thought about things for awhile. The main thing was to wrap my head around the fact that I was free for the time being. After that, I just reflected on how our whole relationship had progressed from the time she first took control.  Some may not understand this, but in case you haven't noticed, I crave being owned and told what to do. I love the feeling of handing over my right to decide what's best for me. I love having her decide what clothes or jewelry she wants me to wear.  I love the control that she exerts over my sexual needs.  And above all, I love that she enjoys having this control even more than I love handing it over to her. 

As things settled back down, I was in denial for a few days and then Ms Constance changed it up to being allowed to edge for 30 minutes each day, but no cumming is allowed. I think the edging is designed to keep me in a super squirmy condition for as long as possible.  The 30 minutes was increased to an hour a few days later, and as I write this post, I'm now to edge for 2 hours starting today.  As a special gift to me, I'm actually going to be allowed to cum after the edging, as long as I "clean up" the cum afterwards.

And what does the future hold in store?  We'll just wait and see what Ms Constance decides as we go along.  One thing I've learned about Ms Constance is that she's not going to let me know too much about what's coming up until she's ready to make it happen.  Until then, I'll just continue on as her happy little slave.

l.b.a.

CREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKK....

Boy do those hinges need some lube... I haven't opened this door in about 4 years, and barely was able to turn the key in the lock! A couple of days of soaking the lock in WD40 did the trick though. Kinda reminded me of what happened one time with my "other" lock after not opening it for a long time, but I digress....

 It's been many moons since I've written an entry into this blog, and I won't bother to go into the reasons for stopping. There were at least a handful, and any readers can probably piece things together if they want.

I was reminiscing a little a few weeks ago, and decided I'd like to come back in here and read some of the old stuff that I so enjoyed writing at the time. Finding and getting back into the blog turned into a bit of a challenge though, since I'd lost even the most important thing, the URL for the blog, and the exact syntax I'd used for the title. There have been a few too many crashed hard drives since I was last here, and I had also lost my log-in information. After a lot of trial and error, mostly error, I was finally able to get back in. Once back into the blog, I found that it had been linked to my old email account, which was deactivated by Yahoo a few years back. So I ended up having to create a new email account and link it up.

After that, I had to wade through an encyclopedia of unmoderated comments that had come in since I was last here. Almost all of them were spam, but there were a couple of nasty comments from a few people who were basically calling me an out of touch with reality asshole for how I was playing in my interactions with my LDW Mistress. Those all disappeared along with the spam with some deft use of the "delete" key! POOF! Fresh start!

Then, it was time to finally get down to the business of reading the old posts! I had a few in particular that I wanted to read, but after I had read them, I went back to the earliest posts and started to read them all. What a trip! It was almost like opening up a time capsule for me! A million memories started to come back to me that I'd forgotten over the past few years. There's a ton of entries related to my adventures as a pet of Ms Grace, and also the fiction stories that I'd written, some of which were written in collaboration with a really great writer, BillyBear, who's blog is one of the few still open and linked on my sidebar. Unfortunately, he stopped writing shortly before I did. Anybody who reads my blog should also read his, as a lot of our storylines are linked together.

 I don't consider myself to be a great bloggist, but I have to say that I really enjoyed reading the posts and also the comments. Some are really good, if I do say so myself!  I found myself laughing out loud at some passages, especially in BillyBear's stories, sometimes to the point where I'd finally stop laughing and then a second later I'd burst out laughing again. I remember laughing uncontrollably over those very same passages at the time they were written.  Those sure were some good times back then....

Anyway, this post is getting too long already, and there's still so much to say! That will have to come later. My main goal was to get the blog updated and available for reading, but I've also been getting the itch to do some writing again. I'm not sure how that will all work out, but this has been a good start. Hopefully, I'll see you all again soon!

In Memory Of A Friend

In case any of you readers don't know by now, Miss Tara from the LDW Group passed away on November 29, 2009. The details of her passing are on Little Giselle's blog, and I won't repeat them here. There is also a follow-up post by Giselle that really illustrates the type of person that Miss Tara was. I hope you will all go and read Giselle's posts.

When I heard the news, I was totally stunned. Stunned by the passing of a person whom I've never even met in person. People seem to come and go so quickly in Miss Tara's profession, but this was a real shock to me. This is at least the 4th time I've sat down to write something appropriate, but the words have just seemed to escape me. I can't let it go another day without writing something, and please bear with me while I try to express a few things.

Like it says in the title of this post, Miss Tara was a friend. She might've been a long distance friend, an online friend if you will, but a friend nonetheless. She even surprised me by sending me a few birthday cards in the mail, with really thoughtful and sweet messages handwritten on each. She was totally special, and I doubt that there ever was or ever will be another person quite like her. I'll never forget that unique voice, her unbridled laughter on her radio show when something struck her as funny. She was also a talented writer, and on more than one occasion she pointed me to some of her written work that I feel very privileged to have been allowed to read. I hope that Ms Ally can find a way to keep Miss Tara's blog open somewhere where people can read it and remember her. She deserves at least that much.

My first recollection of Miss Tara was from one of my early visits to the chatroom at LDW. I didn't know her from Adam, and only a few seconds after entering the chatroom, she says "Jem! You're so outrageous!" I wasn't sure what I did that was so outrageous, and was trying to figure it out, when she said it again. Then a light clicked on in my head and I realized that it was a quote fron the old Jem cartoon. It was also my first exposure to Miss Tara's vast storehouse of pop culture trivia.

We became close chatroom friends after that, and after quite a while I was even directed to call her on the phone by Ms Grace. I was pretty nervous on the call, and I think Miss Tara may have been a little nervous as well. I didn't want to mess up any mental image of me that she might've had, and maybe she felt a little of that too. We did have a great call, but most of my interaction with her was in the chatroom and blogs. That's where I realized what a great roleplayer she was.

Miss Tara had a radio show for a while, and whenever I was able to get home from work early enough, I tried to make it into chat. She always gave me a great big welcome when I would come into the room, and we would always end up dancing to The Cootie Song, which she'd play especially for me. I'd had to change my avatar because my old one wasn't available on the new chat client, and the one I picked happened to look like an alien bug to Miss Tara. So from then on, I was Jembug or Buglet, depending on her mood that day. One of her favorite phrases was "Don't come near me with those cuh-reepie feelers!" I sooooo loved hearing her laugh during those radio shows.

Even without radio, we used to have hilarious nights in the chatroom whenever Miss Tara was there. A lot of the times that Billybear and I were in there, we would try and liven it up (disrupt?) to the point where it teetered on the brink of anarchy. I'll always remember those nights, which would invariably result in Billybear and/or me being spanked by Miss Tara (as only Miss Tara could) and sent to stand with our noses against the wall until we were allowed to come back. It didn't take much instigation by Ace or Lucky or Giselle to get us spanked either.

She had a wonderful knack for balancing on the fine line of being professional and not offending the other clients, while at the same time jumping right into whatever insanity we had brewed up that night. A great example of that would be her participation in the first chatroom appearance of Tracer Bullet Billy and Girl Friday. That night bordered on mayhem, but was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen or been a part of in the chatroom. I often wonder what a first time visitor to the chatroom might've thought if he showed up in the middle of one of those.

She was an avid reader of our blogs, and she jumped wholeheartedly into whatever crazy storylines we would write her into. She loved the haiku and whatever else we did. Her comments were a source of validation for my writing, because I respected her writing skills so much. If you haven't yet, I invite you to read back through the archives of this blog and Billybear's blog, especially under the Tracer Bullet Billy labels, and see what I'm talking about. Don't forget to read her comments! I was happy that Miss Tara agreed to guest write on one of the last Girl Friday posts before she passed as well. It was the first time I had tried it and she eagerly participated. I emailed Miss Tara with a list of questions for her interview with Girl Friday, and I cut and pasted her responses into the story. It worked out really well, and I'm happy now that I have Miss Tara in her own words as a part of my story. Except for one comment on a later post, that was the last time Miss Tara was able to participate. I'm not sure if I'll continue with those storylines or not, because since Billybear moved on, Miss Tara had been the only other real inspiration I had for writing them. I may possibly continue them as a tribute in the future, but I will definitely be retiring the Zorak character and any references to my bugness in the chatroom.

I guess I've said most of what I wanted to say, but I'm sure that in the future I'll wish I said more. I didn't want this post to depress anyone, rather I wanted it to be a celebration of Miss Tara's uniqueness. I really wish she was still here, but I hope that where she is now, she's able to sit out in that chaise lounge and read in the sun, but she'll never get another sunburn.

Miss Tara, you were a wonderful friend and I can only look forward to seeing you on the other side someday. If there's anything that I can feel good about, it's that I was somehow able to keep you laughing either in the chatroom or in the blogs. I hope to hear that laughter again someday! You are sorely missed.

And so for one last time....

your buglet..... ::touches you with my cuh-reepie feelers::

Has It Really Been Since Thanksgiving?

Geesh... I guess it has, so maybe I'd better post something. I don't have any idea what to write about, so maybe I'll start by writing about writing. How appropriate!

First let me explain a few things to any of you who might be interested. If you're not interested, then look away until I tell you to look again. See, Bitchass has been away. Not away like going somewhere on a vacation, but more like all my energy to write went away and I came down with the worst case of writers block you can imagine. For the last couple of years, it had come fairly easy. Then a couple of things happened that took the wind out of my sails, and my writing went into a funk. It became harder and harder to even sit down and expend the energy.

This is how the process used to work for me. I'd have a vague idea for a story in my head, and I'd sit down at the keyboard and try to become whatever character I was writing about. My recurring characters were easiest, because each time I wrote about them it fleshed out the character more and more and made it a lot easier to become them. New characters are the hardest, but eventually they come around and develop their personalities. The hardest part for me was keeping the characters personalities separate. If I'm not careful they tend to start blending together.

If I was really inspired and into the character, the story would flow out right from the start. But most times it was more difficult for me. I would struggle for a while to get into the flow, going back countless times to rewrite certain parts, but eventually it would come, and the rest of the story would seem to write itself. If you've read much of my stuff, you've probably noticed that I have a much harder time stopping a story once it gets going.

One of the things that made writing easier was corroborating with a small group of others in this blogspace whose writing I really admire. I think my writing improved by leaps and bounds once I began to feel pushed to get better by reading stuff by quality storytellers like Billybear, Miss Tara, Lucky, and Ace, to name just a few. I don't mean to leave anyone out, but these were the people who were most involved on a day to day basis. To this day, I am totally awed by how Billybear can make a complicated storyline come together so effortlessly. I wish it came that easy for me, but I could never do what he does. And there were times that I laughed so hard at what he wrote that I about peed my panties.

I can't put my finger on exactly when I became completely blocked, but it was sometime after Lucky detonated the 10 pounds of C4 under his blog. I don't blame him because I knew his reasons for doing it, and by that time I had lost most of my inspiration for writing anyway. I tried to keep going by forcing stories out, but that usually shows in the finished product and the Emporer soon has no clothes.

I had a good opportunity to write some true life posts when Hurricane Ike and a few other storms visited the area. I thought the Ike stories turned out pretty well, but after the storms went away, so it seems did my writing.

So anyway, I'm hoping that shining the light of day on my writers block will turn things around and get me writing again. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. I can't say for sure. I feel especially bad for disappointing my regular readers, and Miss Tara certainly deserves to read something new instead of having to depend on the old archives for a chuckle or two. Although, I confess that I too read the archives from time to time when I need a laugh. It's a damn shame that the Real World has interfered, but since Miss Tara, Billybear and Ace have been posting the occasional post, maybe there's hope that they will get going again too. Maybe even Lucky might find a way to resurrect his blog from the ashes. We can always hope.

Well that's about it for tonight. Anybody who looked away because they weren't interested can look back now.

Hopfully it won't be so long between posts this time!

little bitchass

Ike... Has Left The Building... Part III Of The Series...

It was sometime after 10AM when I woke up enough to get off of the couch and take a look outside. The wind was still blowing, but not nearly as hard or as sustained as it was when I had last fallen asleep, and so I figured it was safe to go outside. I put on my old tennies because I figured they were gonna get wet, and ventured out the front door.

The first thing I saw when I scanned the front yard was leaves and small branches everywhere. Then I noticed a rather large branch had broken off of my tree and was laying in the shrubbery. That's when I remembered my car in the driveway. I walked out to the front of the garage, not even wanting to look, but when I did, there were no other large branches down, just a bunch of little ones, and there were leaves all over the sides of the car like they had been glued on. But to my relief, there was not a scratch on it.

As I looked around, I noticed much more damage to the neighbors house on my right and also across the street. There were huge branches that had broken off of the trees, any one of which would have caved the roof of my car in. Everybody in my subdivision has 6 foot wooden privacy fences, and it looked like everybody had lost huge sections out of theirs. The wierd thing is that both of my side fences that run from back to front are decrepit old things that lean and you can knock a board off of them if you bump into them, but neither of them had a single piece missing. My neighbor wasn't so lucky. The fence he had was almost new, I mean it still looked like brand new wood, and most of it was lying on the ground with big broken sections in it.

I thought I'd better look at my own property, and so I stepped back and looked at the roof, not knowing what I was gonna see. But the roof looked OK, and so I started around the house to check out the back. As I walked, I noticed pieces of shingles lying on the ground, and so I looked up a second time, but still didn't see where they might've come from. My neighbors houses didn't look like they had lost any either.

As I rounded the corner to the back yard, I was expecting to see my chimney blown down at least. But there it stood on the corner of the roof, with it's chimney cap still on and not even leaning. I scanned the back side of the roof. That's when I saw where the shingles had come from. A couple of rows of shingles had blown off right below the ridge, from the right end of the roof to about 2/3 of the way across. I know thats gonna cost me, but still, it's not nearly as bad as I was expecting.

The back yard was covered in leaves and little branches, but my two trees were still standing, pretty much intact. Then I noticed the little steel shed where I keep my lawnmower and garden stuff. The neighbor directly behind me had about a 30 foot bald cypress tree, and it had broken off and fallen right onto the top of my little shed, with all the branches covering it like it was in a little green grotto. I went over and opened the door to see how badly the roof was crushed, but there was no damage at all. I looked behind the building and found that the fence across the back of my yard was holding the tree a few inches above the roof of the shed. Talk about close calls!

The only other significant damage I saw was that a huge branch had snapped off of their tree, but it had fallen in a direction away from my house, and it was big enough to where it could've done some damage to my roof if it had fallen on it. I went back into the house took stock of a few more things.

The electricity was still off, obviously, but I was surprised to see that I still had water running at full pressure, and I still had gas. They were both great signs, because it meant that not only could I take showers and flush the toilet, but the showers wouldn't be cold ones and I could cook things on my gas range. Having the power off was not a good thing, but at least with water and gas, the house might get uncomfortably warm, and the refrigerator wouldn't keep the food cold, but the house was livable and I could survive in it until the power came back. I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. Instant coffee never tasted so good.

I sat on the couch and drank my coffee while I listened to the radio. The news wasn't too good, especially for Gaveston and the areas. Galveston was hit really hard, but the Bolivar Peninsula and a little area called Crystal Beach were almost wiped clean, according to the newspeople. A lot of the residents who defied the evacuation order still haven't been located, and a news item just today theorized that a good number of them had been simply washed out to sea, and they will probably never be found.

Electricity was out all over a wide area, with the power company estimating the number of customers without power at about 2.25 million. The forecast for getting power back was pretty grim, anywhere up to a month, with some of the hardest hit areas maybe taking longer. That was a scary thought, and I wasn't looking forward to living without air conditioning, lights, or refrigeration for anywhere near that long. The news stories all morning were sobering, but through it all, Vash kept it light by singing away cheerily in his cage. I don't think he likes storms very much, seeing as how I had found him as a baby after he had gotten blown out of his nest, and he was probably just happy that the storm had passed.

I won't go into a lot of detail on the stuff that has been going on around Houston, because it's all been reported on the news, but there are a few other things I wanted to touch on. Trying to sleep on Saturday night was horrible, because even though I had opened all the windows, there wasn't any breeze outside and it was as steamy as a jungle on the equator. I'd drop off to sleep for an hour or so, and then would wake up sweating. I'd get up, go into the bathroom, towel down and then lay back on the bed and try to go back to sleep. This process repeated itself over and over until morning.

The hardest thing to find in the days after the storm were ice, water, and gasoline. I had stocked up on bottled water and had almost a full tank of gas, but I needed ice in the worst way. The fridge kept things cool for about a day, but I had to start looking for some to put in my coolers. On Sunday morning I listened to the radio to hear the locations that supposedly had ice, but by the time I would get to them, it would be gone. I wasted almost half a tank of gas just driving around looking for ice. I gave up and figured to get an early start the next day.

I got lucky again, and on Sunday night, a cool front came into the area, and sleeping was a lot more comfortable. I even had to get a light blanket and cover up by the time morning rolled around. It has stayed on the cool side at night ever since.

The next morning, when I got to the Krogers, they had a line in front of the ice machine, and I found out that people were waiting until it spit out some bags of ice, and then the line would wait for more to be made. A guy guarding the machine told me it took 30 minutes to make the ice, and so I mentally counted up how long it would be before I got any ice. It was way too long to wait, but I had nothing else to do, and it was better than driving around and wasting my precious gasoline looking for it. And so I resigned myself to wait.

At that point, something that I consider a small miracle happened. As I stood back near the end of the line, a guy walked in from outside and asked if we were all waiting for ice. I figured he was a customer and told him yes, and also how long he was probably going to have to wait. But he wasn't a customer... He said, "I have some ice out in my truck, and its free, so if you want some come out and get it".

He didn't have to ask me twice! I whirled the shopping cart around and followed him out to the parking lot with about 5 of my fellow back of the liners. He led us over to his pickup truck, and in the back were 2 huge coolers with bags of block ice in them. He gave me four 10 pound blocks, and away I went to get my precious cargo home. It was an odd feeling as I wheeled the cart across the lot. I was actually a bit worried that somebody might be desperate enough for ice to mug me for mine. But I got my ice home and into the coolers without any bloodshed.

All of the food in my fridge and freezer was thawed by this time, and so I had to throw out almost all of it. Two full trashbags worth... While the fridge was empty, I spent a couple of hours giving it a good cleaning, and this is the cleanest that thing has been in probably 5 years.

On Tuesday morning I went out to the Krogers for more ice, and this time they had a pallet full of cube ice sitting there. I had to pay about $3.50 for a 40 pound bag, and I got 2 of them, which almost didn't all fit into the coolers. $3.50 a bag for frozen water was a bit steep, but considering how hard it was to get, I probably would've paid $10 a bag.

After dropping off my ice, I went out to try and do some shopping. But first I had to try and find some gas for the car. Most stations I drove past had bags on the gas nozzles. Some stations were out of gas, while others had gas in the tanks, but didn't have the electricity to work the pumps. The few stations that were operating had lines of cars a block long waiting to get in. I figured I could wait another day and maybe more stations would be getting their power back. And so I stopped into the Krogers again and picked up a few things and then went back home to do some yard cleanup.

Later that afternoon, while I was cleaning up branches, I saw my porch light go back on! Holy shit! The power was back on! I worked for a little longer while I made sure the power was gonna stay on. About 10 minutes later, just as I was about to go back inside and start turning things back on, I heard the now familiar sound of power lines shorting out a couple of times, and my porch light went back out. Shit!!!!

About an hour later, I saw 2 big power company trucks down the block in the direction that the arccing sound had come from. A crew took a bunck of poles and other tools and went into a back yard, and within a half hour, the power was back on again. I waited to make sure it was gonna stay on, and when I was pretty sure it was, I started turning things back on. Lights came on... then I plugged the fridge in... that was good, so I plugged the TVs, the stereo, and the puter back in. Everything was working so far. Holding my breath, I turned the switch on the thermostat to "Cool". The air conditioning kicked on and within a minute, there was cool air coming out of the registers! Then I checked my cable, but it was still out, and so I tried doing a refresh on it, and after about 15 minutes of playing with it, I noticed the cable box resetting itself, and my picture was back. I went to the puter and did a renew and reset, and my Internet connection came back up. Bitchass was back in business!

About that time, my boss called me and said that the power and server were both back up at work, and so everybody was supposed to come back in the next day. On my way into work on Wednesday, I turned around and stopped at a gas station when I saw that the owner was taking the bags off of the pump nozzles as I was going by. He must've either just gotten the tanks filled or he just got his power back on. Whatever the reason, I didn't much care. I only had to wait for one car in front of me, and then I got my gas and left.

And so, all in all, I made out better than most. I have to file an insurance claim for my roof, but at least I have a roof to sleep under. As I write this, there's still over a million people without power in the Houston area, and a lot of families still have members missing. As good as it feels to have my air conditioning and other conveniences back, there are others who are still suffering out there. It's a really really sad situation. My heart goes out to everyone who's worse off than me, and I hope that they all get relief soon.

Well, I'm tired, so that's all for tonight...

And y'all better hope there's not gonna be any more hurricanes this year or you're gonna have to sit through another long story!

Later!

little bitchass

Don't Let The Door Hit You In The Ass, Ike...

Well, I survived the hurricane, not completely untouched, but I'm still here. If anybody is wondering, I'll relate to you what I experienced as the storm came and went. Before I start though, I want to say that I was extremely lucky compared to a whole lot of other poor souls who lost way more than I did. My heart goes out to those people and their families.

On Friday afternoon, I finished boarding up my one boardable window at the front of the house, and making sure I had my flashlights and extra batteries handy. I placed my candles where I could easily find them. I fueled up my Coleman lantern, and also screwed a new propane cylinder on my other lantern. The weather at that point was still very calm, with an occasional breeze.

The clouds started rolling in during the late afternoon, but not a drop of rain fell until much later. As evening fell, the wind started to pick up, and I decided to make dinner, using stuff from the freezer, since I knew that the power might go out during the storm and allow the frozen food to thaw out. And here's where I made my first two big mistakes. I had already gassed up the car, but I forgot to go out and fill my coolers with ice, and I also forgot to test my radio on battery power.

After dinner, I spent some time on the Internet, thinking that the storm probably wouldn't get bad until 11PM or maybe midnight. I browsed around a bit, getting periodic weather reports from Krissi, and I started to leave a few messages with people telling them that if my Internet went out, I might not be online for a few days. I never got all of my messages sent out. At around 9PM the power started to flicker, and so I decided to turn off the puter and unplug anything electronic except for the old TV in my bedroom. I busied myself by watching storm coverage on TV until I lost my cable signal at 9:40. At that point, I went out to the living room, parked myself on the couch, and turned on my radio, which worked fine as long as it was plugged into the wall.

That's how I spent the time up until about midnight... lying on the couch, listening to storm reports, and listening to the wind getting stronger and stronger outside. Then, a little past midnight, the lights went out...

I lit a couple of my candles and switched my radio over to battery power, but even though the batteries were brand new, the radio stayed silent. And so I laid there in silence, listening to the many strange noises outside. I have a fireplace with a metal firebox and metal chimney. During normal rainstorms, I use the chimney cap as an indicator of how hard the rain is falling outside, but on this night, the whole fireplace got involved, as the wind would blow down the chimney and make the damper and the metal walls of the fireplace clatter and bang. The wind was really blowing hard outside, and every so often, I'd hear the sound of electrical wires shorting together and the power transformers going out. I kept hearing the most disconcerting cracking sounds outside, and I didn't have any idea if it was from trees going down or something else. And so I laid there on the couch, wishing I could just fall asleep and when I woke up, all this would be over. Not a chance...

While I was lying there, I suddenly remembered a tiny little AM/FM/Weather radio that I had gotten sent to me as a free gift from somewhere. I searched for it using a flashlight, and fortunately found it in a drawer. I popped a couple of AAA batteries in it, and lo and behold, sounds poured forth! At the time I got it, I remember thinking how cheap and useless this little plastic toy was, but the little bastard worked like a charm, and kept me informed of what was going on around the area until the power came back on. I apologize profusely to Mr Cheapass Radio.

As I laid there, listening to the radio and the steadily increasing wind and scary noises outside, I was able to finally drift off to sleep for a while.. It couldn't have been for very long, because I woke up to see the lights were back on again, and when I checked my watch, I saw it was only about 2:15. It had really started to rain hard, and I heard them say on the radio that Ike had just come ashore on Galveston at 2:10. I knew that since I was about 40 miles from Galveston, I still had about 2 hours to go until the strongest winds got to my area. I got up and looked out of the front door, and all I could see was horizontal rain, and a ghostly image of trees and bushes bending sideways. As I watched, I saw a couple of bright green flashes of light, accompanied by the now familiar sound of wires shorting out, and out went the lights again. I closed the door and made my way back to my little oasis of candlelight.

The next couple of hours were probably the worst part of the night. I started to hear my windows flexing inside their frames, and I started to wonder if they were gonna blow into the house or some airborne objects might crash into them and send flying glass my way. I have a small house, but the entire back wall consists mostly of 3 large windows and a sliding glass door, and the wind was blowing directly at them. I was wishing that I had been able to board them up, but it was too late now... I made another big mistake here... I continued to lay on the couch, right where any broken glass would go. Luckily, the windows held, and I didn't have to pay for being stupid.

While I waited for the worst part of the storm to arrive, all I could think of was, "If this is only a Category 2 hurricane, I don't ever want to have to sit through anything stronger." I don't mind telling you that I was scared and more than a little bit worried. One thing that helped me a lot was the knowledge that I was far enough inland and at a high enough elevation where I didn't have to worry about the storm surge or any serious flooding. As I laid there wondering just how strong the wind was gonna get when the eyewall passed over me, I mercifully fell asleep. The next thing I remember is drifting awake just around 6AM and realizing that the wind didn't sound quite as strong outside as it had just a few hours ago.

I got up and grabbed a flashlight and patrolled around the house, looking for any broken windows or water leaks, but I didn't see anything. As I passed the spare bedroom, the beam of the flashlight startled poor little Vash, who had been quiet all through the storm, and he now began cheeping loudly. I talked to him for a few minutes until he quieted back down. I went back to the couch and laid back down, waiting for first light so I could see something outside. I'm not afraid of the dark by any means, but having to endure 6 to 8 hours of this crap without a break, and not being able to see anything outside, had me wishing hard for daylight to arrive.

Finally, after drifting in and out of sleep for a while longer, I became aware that it was starting to look lighter behind the closed curtains, and that there were lengthening periods of calm between the gusts of wind. As I drifted in and out, I was vaguely aware of the sound of the radio announcers periodically giving the time, and at one point I remember hearing them say it was 10 something, and so I decided to get up and take a look outside...

Lunch hour is over, so I'll tell you the rest later.

little bitchass

Ike... A View From The Crosshairs...Part I...

As Hurricane Ike gets closer and closer to Bitchassland, I'm taking a break from my preparations, and thought maybe now would be a good time to update everybody. I may not get a chance to later. This storm may not be as powerful as some have been, but it is huge, folks. As I write this, the wind has just now started to pick up and it's getting pretty breezy out there. The sun is still out but some clouds are starting to roll in. I'm not sure when I'll feel the first rain, but it's been dry so far.

I've been really fortunate for the past few years when it comes to tropical storms and hurricanes. There have been a few, including Rita, which were headed directly towards me but turned away at the last monent. It looks like I won't be as fortunate this time.

When I got up yesterday, Ike was tracking towards me and if the track held, the storm would pass almost directly over me, slightly to my west, which put me on the "dirty side" of the storm, which is where the worst conditions are usually found, including possible tornados. I got a little break yesterday when I found out that the storm track had shifted slightly to the east of me, which makes me feel slightly better because that puts me on the "clean side". But this storm is just so big that I'm in for a rough night tonight no matter what.

I got another little break in that Ike didn't strengthen much yesterday as it travelled across the Gulf of Mexico. As I write this, it's still a Category 2 storm with winds of 105 mph. I'm about an hour inland from Galveston, which seems to be Ike's latest target, so I will not get the storm surge or see wind speeds close to what Galveston will feel. But.... I'm still expecting winds of between 50-65 mph and they are predicted to last for almost 12 hours, because of the sheer size of the storm. Once it's here, all you can do is wait for it to pass through. Besides the wind, I will probably get a lot of rain, but I'm in an area that doesn't usually flood, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't this time either. My main concern is whether my roof and windows will stay intact.

I will most likely lose power at some point, and who knows how long it will be before it comes back on? I've been hearing stories that some places in other storms were without power for a couple of weeks. That would really suck, because if the power goes out to the water pumping facility that supplies me, I won't have any water until the power comes back on. I bought some water and also have some soda, whiskey, and beer, so I won't die from dehydration, but I may be drunk as a skunk when all is said and done.

This morning I made the last of the preparations that I could, and filled up my two huge trashcans with water so I could use a bucket of water to flush my toilet with if the water is off. I'll fill up my bathtub later tonight too. I've got a couple of Coleman lanterns, a couple of flashlights, a few extra batteries, and a bunch of candles, so at least I shouldn't be in the dark.

I could've done better preparations if I had put more thought into it, like I should've gotten more drinking water and batteries, and maybe another can of lantern fuel, but it's too late to worry about that now. It is what it is, and I'm as ready as I'm gonna be. All I can do now is to hope that everything will be OK.

I just remembered a few more things that I need to do, like trying to get a couple more trays of ice cubes made before tonight, so I'd better get back to it.

Thanks to all of my friends who have expressed their concern, because that really means a lot. And thanks to my weather expert sis Krissi for the great weather updates and assurances. If I can, I'll write more later tonight if I still have power. Hope to see you all later tonight, and maybe even be able to report that the storm turned away at the last moment. We can always hope, right?

Love you all!

little bitchass

Wow! September 4th Already! Wonder What Bitchass Has Been Doing For The Past Month?

Since I haven't written anything in that time, and since a few of my friends have posted a few things, maybe it's time I blew the cobwebs off of this blog and added some text to it.

And since my blog never contains anything fictional, I'll just stay with that format and tell you what I've been doing lately. This won't take long, and if you manage to stay awake through it, there will be a quiz at the end.

When I left you last, I was sitting by myself at work, waiting for the tropical storm to wash me away. Sadly for you, it didn't, and neener neener neener, I'm still here. We had another Hurricane scare last week, when there was a possiblility that Gustav might head over in Bitchass' direction. I watched the news and weather, and figured I'd be smart this time and not wait until the last minute to get extra water, batteries, and candles. So out I went, and was able to find what I needed before everything got cleaned off of the shelves. But Gustav had his evil eye fixed on the New Orleans area all along, and he headed straight there, leaving all my storm supplies still sitting in their little plastic shopping bags. I guess I'll put them away after hurricane season is over.

Remember when I had told you in a previous post that I had to replace my dead modem? Well, my Internet connection problems continued to cause me grief until 2 days ago. I could never get my Internet speed anywhere close to where it should be, and web pages were taking anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes to load. I started checking out the computer, and found some spyware and a Trojan (not the condom) hiding in there. I cleaned those things out, cleaned up my registry, and in the process caused other problems. I began to suspect that I had broken Internet Explorer when the spyware got cleaned out, and so I installed Firefox to see if it was any faster. It wasn't. Everything was still going slower than income tax reform.

That made me suspect either the new modem or some other problem with my ISP. Since I had installed the replacement modem, and remembering that I had problems doing the online setup, I decided to call Comcast while I still had my router bypassed and had a straight connection between computer and modem.

The tech I got listened (hahaha... not really) to the symptoms I described, and then told me that there was an outage in the area and that it was probably the cause of my slowdown. I pointed out to him that I had just told him that my Internet was slow for over a month, and that must be some kinda outage they had going on. I also pointed out that I still had my connection, but that it was dead slow. At any rate, he insisted that he couldn't do any troubleshooting with me until the outage was cleared. When I asked him when I should check back, he said it could be 48 hours. I figured that at least if I called back the next day, I might get a tech more interested in helping me.

Now the story gets really wierd. I checked my ISP download and upload speeds before going to work the next morning, and they were still crawling. After finishing work, I turned onto the street leading to my subdivision, and there on the side of the road, were 2 Comcast bucket trucks, and their occupants were working on an overhead wire. I got home, turned on the computer, and my Internet connection had mysteriously gotten it's speed back. It's been that way ever since, and was it just a coincidence that it got fixed the day after I called? You tell me. I'm just happy to be able to browse without cursing at the computer every time I change to a different webpage.

So needless to say, most of my past month has been spent trying to get my computer straightened out. Add that to the fact that I have been super busy at work and not able to get online to play like I used to, and you can see why I haven't been around much. Weekends have mostly been spent sweating my ass off outside while I push the lawnmower around the yard.

Well, my lunch hour is over, so this will have to do for todays post. Maybe I'll post again soon, maybe not, who knows?

One last thing. Notice the special date in the header of my blog. That date is the anniversary of my first call with Princess Grace. I was really looking forward to our 2nd Anniversary this year, but September 20th is only about 2 weeks away, and if some things don't change by then, it looks like it's not gonna be much of a celebration. I'm hoping that September 20th will stick in my memory as a happy day, and not a sad one.

See y'all next time I post.

Princess, as always, I wuv You and miss You.

little bitchass

P.S. If you're waiting for the quiz, there isn't gonna be one... I ran out of time...

My My My... How Time Does Fly...

Thursday already? Where does the time go? Bitchass took 3 days of vacation, which along with the weekend meant I had 5 straight days of sleeping in and doing nothing. Today I'm back to work, and UGHHHH... the day just won't end...

Well, I did do some things, mostly housework, laundry, and running out for this or that, the most interesting things being going to the salon for a haircut/style, and then buying and installing a new router to replace the old one that had been losing its configuration whenever it was most inconvenient for me. It wasn't a huge problem having to reload the configuration file once or twice a day, but I finally got tired of having to do it and decided that it was time to go for something new. I ended up getting one of the new D-Link "N" routers and I installed it. So far so good, but right now I'm still on a wired connection and haven't tried installing the wireless adapter yet. I'm gonna play around with the configuration and make sure I don't have any problems for a few more days and then I'll install the matching wireless card.

I had another great day at the salon on Saturday. I didn't have anything special done, just got my split ends trimmed, along with some brow waxing and plucking. My stylist did a style with a lot of loose curls, which was nice for a change, but the best part about my visits is always the fun I have hanging out for the afternoon with all the girls who work there. They are wonderful! They all treat me like I'm just "one of the girls", and I always feel totally comfortable and at ease there. There's nothing like sitting in the salon, sipping a glass of white wine, and having someone playing around with your hair for a few hours. Well, there are a few other things that might top it, but you know what I mean. But eventually, like all the other clients, I have to leave, even if I'd rather hang out there all day.

I told you in my last blogpost about my phone call with the Stroke Princess, and I just received the birthday prezzie that She sent me. Thank You again, Princess! I decided that I'm not gonna tell you all what She bought for me, I'll just let you all use your imaginations. If She wants to tell you She can, but I'm thinking it's more fun to make you all wonder what the prezzie was. ::giggle::

There's something else that Ms Grace did during our call that I completely forgot to tell you about in my previous blogpost. I'm sure this will ho-hum any but the sissies among my readers, but if it doesn't interest you, skip over this part. I'll tell you when to start reading again.

I had told Princess last year that I had bought a two-piece swimsuit that had a bra top with those triangle shaped cups. I had been wearing that whenever I went to the tanning salon, and I developed some very nice tanlines. These tanlines were so distinct that when I showed Princess a picture of them, She said it looked like I was still wearing a white bikini top.

But I stopped tanning in the top early this tear, because I wanted to see what my boobs looked like with a tan, and so I started just wearing the bottoms. Mt tan is pretty much evened out now, but still, it's not as dark as it was late last season. I had gotten busy and had only been going about once a week, and so the overall tan has been fading a little bit. That brings us back to the present.

During our call, I mentioned to Princess that maybe it was time to get a new swimsuit, but maybe this time one that would leave more interesting tan lines. Princess just giggled and right away went to the Victoria's Secret site and found out that there was a swimsuit sale going on. She showed me a lot of different swimsuits that She thought would be good, before finally deciding on this one.


I ordered it while She waited. Princess, the tanlines from this one will be interesting for sure!

Well, to make a long story short, the swimsuit arrived yesterday, but I was too busy to open the package. I'll do that when I get home tonight, and if it's the right one and everything fits, I'll start working on Princess' new tanlines this weekend. OK, the rest of you can start reading again.

I've also been continuing with the "Walkies 'n Water" program, with no cummies allowed since the one during our call and the two She allowed me on my birthday. Now it's back to not knowing when the next one will be. I haven't talked to Princess since the call, and so I still have no idea what Her "Big Plan" for me is. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough, and I also know that I foolishly already agreed to it in exchange for being allowed to cum the other night. I'm so tired of breadsticks...

At the beginning of this post, I said that today was Thursday already. You all know about what happens on Thursday nights. Yes, it's Tease Time, and I hope that I don't have any computer problems like the ones that made me miss last week's chat. I'm gonna stop on the way home and get a birthday cheesecake so that I'll have it to eat during Tease Time, which will satisfy the last of the homework assignments that the Stroke Princess gave me during our call.

I hope to see you all there, and Princess, as always... You know what?

little bitchass

Time's Running Out... Did A New Modem Fix It? Will The Call Happen? Questions... Questions...

Well, the first part of the question should've been easy to answer, but I had a feeling that things wouldn't turn out to be easy, and I was right. I exchanged my modem at the Comcast store and took it home, after making sure that I asked if there was any activation that needed to be done after the installation, even if it was a quick call to Comcast, it would've been OK. I was assured that no, I just "hook it up and go".

Well, I got home and hooked it up, and as soon as I plugged it in, the lights all started blinking in what looked like normal fashion. Easy, right? Wrong!

I went to the computer and up popped an activation screen. It said I needed to download a file and run the activation software. Unfortunately, when I tried to do this, it kept telling me that it couldn't connect to the internet. Not sure how I was able to get the Comcast screen if I had no connection to the internet, but if I tried to open my browser, it kept saying I had no connection. We won't go into detail about what I had to do to get up and running, but one system restore and a bunch of IP releases, renews, and cold reboots later, I was connected again and testing out the system. I have no idea exactly what happened, but was left wondering if the modem went out and somehow had corrupted my browser software. I do know that the modem was bad, and so I don't feel quite so stupid.

By the time I was done, it was almost time for me to see if the Stroke Princess was gonna be able to do a call. I wasn't able to reach Her all day, and so I had no idea if She was gonna be available or not. But sure enough, almost at 10 Eastern on the dot, my IM window lit up and it was Princess! Never a doubt, right???

We talked over a few things in IM for a short time, then it was time for the call. As we always do, a good portion at the beginning of the call was spent getting caught up with what each other was doing. I love this part of the call, because it makes me feel closer to Princess. We talk about lots of things, both good and bad, and laugh a lot about other things, but you already know this, I've told you in just about every post I write about our phone calls.

We had to do the call on Friday night, and not on Saturday, which was actually my birthday. But none of that really mattered, just making the connection with Princess was enough. She told me a few things about the party I had missed at Tease Time on Thursday night, and after I told Her that I felt bad that I had to miss my own party, She told me that we could have another one this coming Thursday, and that I should bring a big honking slice of cheesecake along for my slice of birthday cake!

And by the way, thank you BillyBear for the nice birthday message!

I also listened as She went on Amazon and bought me a birthday prezzie! How cool is that??? I'll tell you more about that after I receive it, but to have Princess Grace think enough of you to buy you a prezzie is unbelievably yummy! Thank You so much, Princess! ::hugs the screen::

Before too long, it was "Princess Pounce Time"...

I heard the change in Her voice and knew I'd better fasten my seatbelt, because the ride was about to begin!

The main part of Her pounce was the fact that I had been cumming on a regular schedule ever since She put me on the "Walkies n' Water Program". About 3 weeks ago, She changed it up on me, not letting me cum anymore, and that began a period of denial. No cage, just free will denial... She pointed out to me during the call (like I didn't realize it already) that it must be very hard to not be allowed to cum when I want to, after being allowed to once every other day or so. I had to pretty much agree with Her assessment of the situation.

The more She talked about it, the more needy and wanty I became. She kept me off balance by pushing my other fetish hot buttons along the way, and then it was right back to how bad it must feel for me not to be able to cum. I don't know how long we bounced back and forth between different fetishes of mine that She knows how to torture me about, but OMG She is sooooo good at it!

At one point, She even read me Her unreleased blogpost about mindfucking, and it is awesome to hear Her read that to you, knowing that She is mindfucking you the whole time anyway! Deeper and deeper She dropped me into subpace, until all I could think about was how much I wanted and needed to cum. I was ready to do anything She wanted to be allowed to cum just one time. Yes, I was that desperate...

"How badly do you want to cum, Honey Bunny? Enough to do anything I want?"

::giggles::

I was fucked! Shit! And I knew it!

"Princess, please... just let me cum this one time and I'll do whatever You want"

"You realize of course, that that means you might not be allowed to cum for a long long time.. maybe 6 months? Maybe more? Maybe back in the cage?"

I was really pathetic...

"Yes Princess.. I realize that and I don't care, please just let me cum tonight... Pleeeeeeeaaaassseee?"

A little voice in my head started sounding the alarm...

"jem, you fool... shut up before it's too late!"

But it was already too late... Princess sealed the deal by letting me cum, and I'll be making the payment later. She didn't say what the cost was, but I may even find out by Sunday night. Whatever it is, I have to say it was one of the greatest orgasms I have ever had, and one of the longest lasting too. Princess even remarked that it sounded long to Her too...

::giggles::

"That sounded like you enjoyed it, Honey! It went on for almost a whole minute!"

Then, with me still buried deep in subspace, She told me what my birthday homework was, which was that I was gonna be allowed to cum twice more on Saturday, but after that, It was back to waiting for Her to give me permission again. My head was still spinning, somehow thankful for the chance that I may never cum again. Don't ask me... I'm just the subbie here.

"Don't worry Honey, I have a plan for you..."

And then the call was over... we said our goodnights, and Princess told me that She prolly would not see me on my birthday, because She was preparing to play the Jello Queen at the Dance Party She was going to on Saturday, but that She may catch up with me on Sunday.

And on Saturday, I enjoyed my birthday, I came twice, and even though I have no idea what's in store for me next, I'm happy... I got to talk to my Stroke Princess... and it was wonderful.

Thank You for another great call, Princess! Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

Thank You Everybody!

I just wanted to thank all of you for pushing my blog over the 20,000 reader mark today! Now I've got my sights set on Princess Grace's 221,000+ mark. I'm hoping to catch up to Her soon!

little bitchass

It Seems Like Just Yesterday That I Posted Something... Oh Wait.. It WAS Yesterday, Wasn't It?...

My last post showed you the condition that the Stroke Princess' denial program has left me in. Well it didn't get any better at work yesterday, and it definitely didn't get any better last night. I did catch a break in that I didn't have to sit and watch any hotties at the gas station and since last night was not my walkies night, I didn't have to endure seeing those tanned legs and long, swinging ponytails on the walking track. The relief was short-lived though, because after I ate dinner, it was time to go to the Kink Chatroom for Ms Grace's Tease Time chat.

Bear with me because my notes are not too easy to read today, probably because my handwriting suffers when I'm doing more than one thing with my right hand at pretty much the same time.

I had just finished dinner and was sitting down at the desk when I noticed the orange button lit up at the bottom of my screen, letting me know I had an IM waiting. I opened it and, yep it was from who you think, and She was telling me that She had gone into the chatroom a bit early, and for me to stop in if I was around. So in I went. When Ms Grace invites me somewhere, I don't fool around doing other things, I'm there ASAP.

My first order of business after arriving in the chatroom is always to greet Princess and any other Mistresses, then I pick Princess up and give Her my customary TWIRLLLLL, which excites Her right off the bat. Well, maybe it doesn't excite Her so much as to make Her dizzy, but that's not what's important here. As long as She doesn't throw up, what's important is that I show Her I'm happy to see her when She's around.

The next thing I do is to respond to everybody who has said hello while I was occupied with Princess Twirling, and after that I say hello to the rest of the room. That is, unless they are on my shit list, in which case I right away drop an ignore on their ass.

Princess began the chat by pointing out that there were subs above Her on the room list, and that this wouldn't fly. The ones who were above Her had better leave the room and come back with a letter in front of their names that would drop them down below Her on the list. A few didn't, and Princess had to threaten one of them, who had asked for a phone call after chat, that if he wanted to talk to Her, he'd better get his name fixed like, yesterday. Out the door he went.

The name change thing became a problem though, as more and more people flooded into the room. At one point, Princess said "Fuck this!" and added a second Avatar, with the name 1_Princess. This put Her back on top of the list and it solved the problem very neatly.

BillyBear made his triumphant return to Tease Time last night. BB has been worn down to the point of catatonia by the slavedriving, insect overlords at his workplace, and he was only able to make it into Tease Time last night after changing his name to the_zombieBB. It wasn't long though before Princess had him energized again and tossing insults at Steph Marie (who was continually trying to dispatch him) and myself. Next week I'm going to have to start bringing my kitchen utensils with me again. It was good to see the little blue fuzzball again though. Tease Time is missing something when he's not there.

Now Princess revealed that She had a few new MP3s for everybody to listen to, and sent everyone to Her blog to listen to them as She posted the links.

The first one was more stroker oriented, and it was called "Stroke_addiction". I'll try to link it to her blog to save you the trouble of navigating over there, but if you are smart, you will already have Her blog bookmarked so you can keep up on what's happening in Princessland. I hope the link works for you. If not, go to Her blog and find it for yourself.

The second new MP3 was a lot more up my alley, and I even told Princess later that I felt like She was talking directly to me in it. It was more sissy oriented and was called "Sissy Mindcontrol". Princess pushed a lot of my hotbuttons with this one, but I still have a lot of hotbuttons left in reserve that She didn't push with it. I guess She didn't want to take the chance of scaring anyone else away. I'm sure She won't let the rest of my buttons remain unpushed for very long, especially since She knows what a needy pet I am at the moment.

The notes that I took during and after listening to the MP3s get a lot fuzzier and harder to understand. I know why that is, and it's because listening to her MP3s always drop me into subspace, and once I'm down there, I'm not much good for the next few hours. But I'll try to make sense out of what notes I have, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.

Princess knew exactly where Her MP3s had left everyone, but She still likes to ask how everybody is feeling, and then lets out one of Her trademarked giggles. The responses are usually mixed, ranging from coherent answers to ones that make you go, "HUH???" I can tell you that listening to them made me even worse of a mess than I was the past few days, if that was possible.

While we were still slackjawed and drooling, Princess started telling us about some of the fantasies that She enjoys thinking about for Herself.

One is loosely based on an MP3 She made called "The Cummie Bowl", only this cummie bowl was not a bowl, but more like a bathtub. I'll let your imagination work with this one, but Her slow and teasy description of sliding those yummy feet of Hers into the tub was giving me all kinds of bad thoughts.

She also told everybody how much She loves watching boys stroke. She also likes to hear them when they cum... that is, if She lets them cum. She then told everyone to get out their cocks and clitties, and imagine being in a circle around Her. Everybody was told to stroke or rub while She launched into one of Her devilish teases. She was undecided on whether to let us cum or not, because there were a few of us who she wanted to get on the phone before She would even think about giving permission. In the end, nobody got to cum, because Princess thought it would be unfair to the ones who already weren't being allowed.

A wave of frustration rippled through the chatroom, and I could picture the evil grin that must have been lighting up Princess' face.

After everyone sorta calmed down, we all got into a discussion of good seafood. Shrimpy was visibly nervous as we discussed how good lobster, crablegs, and yes, shrimp tasted. Then Princess brought up cheesecake, which makes me almost as wanty as Her denial program does. She knows how much I like cheesecake, and how much I'd love a few pieces... and worked me over with that just like She does with Her sexual teasing. If only I wasn't on Her water and walkies program....

A few last facts that you may not know about... Princess says that beer and cigarettes make a person's cum taste bitter. Did you know that?

She also revealed that She has a straw fetish. The straws have to be big and thick, but I'll let Her explain that one to you.

One last item, next Saturday is my birthday, and it's supposed to be a surprise for me, but I think there may be a party in the chatroom next Thursday night. I'm not 100% sure of that though, since I'm not supposed to know, but stay tuned...

As for me, I'm outta here, and will see you all next time.

Princess, Your bitchass wuvs Youuuuuuu....

little bitchass

Hmmmm.... Thursday Already... Tease Time Is Tonight...

But since I'm on my lunch break at work, and since I feel like writing a little sumpin', I'll pass on a little "State of the Jem" post.

I got an email from the Stroke Princess yesterday afternoon, just before I left to make the trip home. She had just finished making a new MP3 and sent me a copy so I could give Her my opinion on it. She will probably deny this, but I know Princess, and She had another reason for sending it to me.

Princess Grace is always calculating a pet's wanty quotient, which I'll call the WQ for the remainder this post. With me, She knew that one, I couldn't listen to the MP3 at work, and I'd be anticipating it all through my drive home. If that isn't enough, Princess also knew that yesterday was Wednesday, which is my walkies day. That means that I have an even longer delay before I can listen. Princess knows all of this, and She calculates my WQ from all the factors.

Add to that the fact that at the moment, Princess has taken away my afterwalkies cumming privileges until She decides that I can start cumming again. I know that I have been locked up for long periods of time before, but I had forgotten just how tough denial by free will was. The only thing that makes wearing the cage harder is the fact that it's very uncomfortable and inconvenient, a big pain in the ass to keep clean, and you can't go commando if you want to.

So, I left work yesterday, knowing that it would still be another couple of hours before I even got to listen to the MP3. I was needy, wanty, and one horny pet the whole drive home.

During the drive, whenever I was stopped at a redlight, there always seemed to be a hot looking girl waiting in the next lane over. This drives me crazy, maybe she has sexy hair... maybe a hot set of earrings... maybe her makeup is yummy.. maybe she has awesome nails... all this keeps adding to my WQ.

Just before I got home, I realized I needed to get gas, so I pulled into my usual gas station, and ran smack into long lines. Just what I needed.. a longer wait. When the line moved enough to where the car right in front to me got to the pump, what happens? A freakin' hot looking little minx in a skirt (yes, hose and heels too) gets out and starts pumping gas. Any other time, this would have been some old guy in bermuda shorts and sandals with black socks. But no... not today... I have to sit here and watch this girl pumping gas... gripping the hose with her long fingers... mmmm... OMG... As I sat there looking at her, I realized that I was absentmindedly rubbing my crotch. WQ went to the top of the scale. Thankfully she got her gas pumped and left before I did a Lucky and needed to squeegee the inside of my windshield.

I got my gas without any further problems, surprisingly, because I still had the girl's image in my head, and I was lucky I didn't spray gas everywhere. Now it was time to head for the house and do my walkies. Then another half hour before I could eat some dinner. Then and only then could I finally get to listen to Princess Grace's MP3.

I got home, changed my clothes, including a bra that Princess specified that I wear when I walk, and went out the door to get the task over with. There's a small park near my house with a walking track, and so I drove over there instead of just walking around my neighborhood streets. This turned out to be a mistake, because it seemed like every other person walking was a cute girl in shorts, tanned legs a mile long, and every damn one of them had a long sexy ponytail, swinging back and forth over an equally sexy ass swinging from side to side. WQ went through the roof.

I made it back home without doing something in public that would make even Lucky blush, and ate my dinner, trying to not think about what listening to the MP3 was gonna do to me. But it was hopeless. I already knew what it was gonna do. But I listened to it anyway because Princess wanted me to.

The new MP3 dealt with the subject of brainwashing and mind control, and how Princess was able to control a seemingly strong man just by a visual trigger, and make him do whatever She wanted him to do. When he met Her, he thought She was gonna be just some easy lay, but oh how wrong he was. I'm not gonna tell you any more about what happens in the MP3, because I don't want to spoil it for you. Princess said She would be posting it soon. All I can say is that hypnosis and control is a pretty yummy subject for me, and hearing it played out in Princess Grace's awesomely sexy voice made it unbelievably hot for me. I was a total mess by the time the MP3 was over, and I mean mentally, because I was able to be good and do what Princess had told me, which was "NO CUMMIES!"

A while later, a little before bedtime, up pops an IM window from Princess. She wants to know what I thought of the MP3. Who did She think She was trying to fool? I could tell by all the giggles that She knew from the very beginning that I was already in a condition where listening to that thing would leave me drooling and slackjawed, with my hand rubbing desperately at my crotch. But I was able to verbalize enough to tell Her how much I enjoyed it, and I added that I hoped She was happy, because I knew that I was gonna have a very rough time lying in bed before going to sleep.

And I did. As I laid there, my thoughts were..

"C'mon jem... you want to don't you? Just edge for a little while... you don't have to cum... but what if you did cum? Princess will never know... c'mon.. you know you wanna...."

But I was able to fight off those demons and go to sleep before I did something that I would have been ashamed to have to tell the Stroke Princess about. It wasn't easy, but I knew I'd feel like shit afterwards if I defied Her instructions.

So that was my day. How was yours?

See you all tonight at Tease Time!

Princess, as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

Newsflash! A Change At Tease Time!

Well, it's probably old news by now, since I know of at least one blog that broke the story before I could scoop the Occasional Assassin. It doesn't help matters much that I'm posting about it 5 days after it happened, but bitchass has been busy.

The Stroke Princess decided to make a change to the show's format for a night, and She had Domina Amanda there to help Her manage a wild game of Truth or Dare. Ms Cassandra was present at the start of Tease Time as well, but had to leave before too long to go and take care of some other urgent matter. I think She had a dog to discipline. I'm not sure if he's housebroken or not, so maybe he peed on the floor or something.

Pretty much as soon as I got into the room, I was told I had to change my chatroom name to something starting with a letter later than "M". There's some kind of a bug it the chat client that is placing Mistresses down in the middle of the room list. They couldn't have a sub being on top of a Mistress, so I left and came back with the new name, "x_jem_of_the_jungle". I know it's not funny. I'm just reporting things from the notes I wrote down, OK?

Then, as soon as Truth or Dare was about to start, I was told that if I wanted to play the game, I now had to leave and add "player" to the front of my chatroom name. Out I went again, and now I was "player_x_jem_of_the_jungle". Again, not funny, but hey, it helps my word count.

Ms Grace started the game by going over the rules for the chatters. When you were chosen, you could choose either "truth" or "dare", with Princess Grace asking the "truth" questions, and Domina Amanda assigning the "dare" tasks. There were only a few souls brave enough to ask for a dare from Ms Amanda, but player_bankyboo and player_asia were a few of the ones who did. Asia was made to wear a pair of panties on his head until he was asked another question, which Potty had to have scoffed at as old hat... you know.. the "been there done that" thing. Banky was told to get on the phone with Princess Grace and fake a momentous woman's orgasm, and from what I heard, it was hilarious. Banky was probably more convincing at that than he was in his attempts to prove his manliness.

We had a chatter in the room named Molly, who seemed to want to play, but just couldn't wrap her head around the "leave and change your name" part. But she didn't let not having "player" tacked onto her name stop her, because she started helping out by answering other peoples questions when they were asked.

We also had a chatter who went by the name james696969, who was more intent on being an X-rated comedian than participating in the game. The game would've gone much smoother if someone had gagged him as soon as he first opened his mouth. I mean, if you want to play, sit back and play, but don't act like an ass and disrupt the game. That's being very disrespectful to the Mistresses trying to run the game.

Which also reminds me, I need to find out just what it was that tease_me_for_cash was on, because I sure want some of it for next week's chat.

As far as my involvement in the game, I thought it was kind of interesting that both of the questions I got asked involved buying stuff in sex shops.

Princess mentioned that the Truth or Dare format may either be continued as a feature in tease Time, or possibly even get it's own night. I liked the game, but at the same time, I also liked Tease Time in it's older format as well, so I'm hoping that the game will get it's own night. I hope if it does, that Domina Amanda continues to participate in it, because Her involvement added a whole new dimension to the game...

Fear!

LOL.... sorry Domina Amanda, I'm kidding! I totally enjoyed Your presence in the chat. I hope You and the Stroke Princess will form a team and make this a recurring event.

Well, I've about run out of notes, so that's it for this week's report, and I'll see y'all next time!

Princess Grace, You know Your bitchass wuvs Ya, don't Ya?

little bitchass