Well Let's See... Where Do I Start?

Before I start my report on last night's Tease Time chat, I wanted to tell you that I actually had a pretty good reason this time for not updating my blog in the past week. I live down here on the Gulf Coast of Texas, and for the past couple of weeks, the afternoon temperatures have been hanging in the mid to upper 90s, and since I'm close to the Gulf of Mexico, the humidity here will just beat the living crap out of you. I have been able to live with that in the past, as long as I could come inside and soak up some air conditioning when I needed it.

This is where the problems of the last week come in...

I had been noticing that my AC blower was starting to run more and more constantly, and it just wasn't keeping the place as cool as it should. Then, by last weekend, the blower would just never shut off. So, since I was not born into the Rockefeller family, I tried to diagnose and fix the fan problem on my own. I was spending a lot of time up in the attic in the evenings after work, and if you've ever been in a Houston attic in the summertime, you'll know how much fun that is. One thing it's good for is losing weight, but to be honest, the misery is just not worth it.

The good news is that I figured out what part was broken, but the bad news is that after looking at what was gonna be required to replace it, I decided to call in the experts. I am now the proud owner of a new furnace/AC unit, and quite a bit lighter in the purse. So besides being exhaused from sweating my ass off in the attic, committing to pay out 4 grand didn't leave me in much of a mood to write anything funny.

Explanation and rant over...

A couple of nights of cool air works wonders on your ambition level, and so I thought I'd write a little about the latest Tease Time. As you may or may not know, the Stroke Princess did not make last week's Tease Time because of some nasty computer gremlins. She made it in last night though, much to the delight of a roomful of needy-wanty chatters.

Princess filled us all in on a toy She is considering as Her new favorite. Before you get excited and fall over and die because you think She is abandoning the Aneros, breathe easier. The new toy is another type of Aneros, called the Aneros Progasm, and it's bigger and looks more like a cock than the original Aneros. I think Her next step will be to find some "volunteers" to try the thing out for Her.

Speaking of volunteers, I seem to have a lot of people who are trying to help me out by reminding Princess that I am presently not locked up, and they seem to think that it would be much better for me if I was. To my ever so helpful friends, I have one thing to say to you... STOP FUCKING HELPING ME! Princess took notice and mentioned that since I've been unlocked and cumming 3 times a week for a while now, that it might just be time to get back into the cage.

She also informed the chatrom that She is taking dance lessons. From what I gather, She's going to learn pole dancing, lap dancing, and strip dancing. It's just one more way for Her to drive us all nuts and send us to Wantland.

Bankyboo was in the room, and Princess Grace revealed plans to have him call one of the newer LDW Ladies, Empress Jill, and have him try to convince her that he is a real manly man. So far, his track record with convincing other Mistresses has not been so good, so we'll just have to wait and see how this goes. I hope Empress Jill has a good sense of humor.

Someone started talking in GeekSpeak, and Princess started getting hugely turned on by this. As you know, Princess adores geeks, and it's well known that She gets all hot and bothered by geeks and comic books, and has been known to cum spontaneously at the mention of Battlestar Gallactica. I tried getting her to cum by chanting BSG BSG BSG BSG, and I think it got Her really close, but I wasn't able to hear the telltale hiccup to confirm it.

Princess ended up the evening by teasing everyone with hot descriptions of Catwoman and Wonder Woman. I was OK until She started talking about licking in between the ass cheeks of Catwoman's leather outfit, after she got them all sweaty from climbing all over the place and whipping Batman into submission. I'l admit that I was wishing that Thursday nights were my cumming nights, but they aren't, and so I stayed frustrated.

The Stroke Princess was having so much fun teasing us to distraction, that She ended up distracting Herself and letting Tease Time run 15 minutes longer than the usual hour.

One last point, after Princess left the chat, I noticed that I seemed to have a lot of people asking me questions about cock cages and buttplugs. What's up with that? How am I supposed to know? Does everybody think I'm an expert on these things? Well OK, maybe I know a couple of things.... but geesh...

That's it for today, everybody, I'll see you all next time.

Princess Grace, as always, I'm so damn happy to be Yours and Your bitchass wuvs You to death!

little bitchass

Oh, there was one other thing I meant to mention... Princess told us in chat that She's getting a yummy new pair of boots, but I'll just let Her tell you all about those when She's ready.

Somebody Write Something! I'm The Only One Who's Allowed To Slack Off Around Here!

Well, OK, except for the Stroke Princess... Princess is allowed to procrastinate as long as She wants. The only person who's writing these days is Miss Tara, who's resistance has finally been hammered down to the point where She came down with a nasty BSG infection. Next thing we know, billyBear will talk Her into going for a ride in his Transmorgifier.

I think the last post I saw was from Bankyboo, and that was at least 5 days ago. But I think I know why nobody has been posting for the past 5 days. You're all waiting breathlessly for my Tease Time Report, right?

See? I KNEW it!

Well it's been my intention to write a Tease Time Report ever since Friday, but writing it at my job like I usually do has been impossible and my weekend was taken up because the neighborhood nazi association has been on my ass to do some work out in my front yard. It's been hotter than a mouthfull of habaneros around here and so humid that you need to wear a scuba tank just to breathe. So working outside all weekend has left my little bitchass dragging. I just don't feel like doing anything that involves moving. Last night after I got home from work and did my walkies for Princess, I turned my computer on and then went and laid on the couch for the rest of the night. Even though I'm allowed to cum once each night that I walk, I couldn't even get my ass off of the couch to do it. Don't ya feel sorry for me? A little???

I've got a chance today, so I'm writing this during the tail end of my lunch hour at work, but I just found out that I left my Tease Time notes sitting on my computer desk at home.

Super... now I can't remember shit about what we did during Tease Time last Thursday.

OK, I do remember Princess Grace being there. And there were also a lot of needywanty chatters there. I know, that part was easy, but give me a break. At least I'm trying.

During the chat, I was on the lookout for the miniHulk and the Green Princess, but neither one showed up in the chatroom. I still think there is a vague resemblance between Princess Grace and the Green Princess, and even though I still haven't seen them both in the same place at the same time, I couldn't be positive and so I didn't mention anything about it in the chatroom.

Princess has been doing really well on Her fitness program, and from what She said, She has a DVD by the female trainer from Hell on "The Biggest Loser" who is kicking Her butt all over the living room floor. But Princess won't back down from a challenge, and so She has hung in there, even though every muscle in Her yummy body is sore.

She did say that She gave Her sore muscles a break one day and did yoga instead. Yoga sounds interesting to me, and I was very interested in learning some of the positions that Princess talked about. She suggested "The Cobra" for me, which sounds really cool! I was wondering if there is a pose called "The Mantis" which would prolly be perfect for me. I might need some vict... errrr... volunteers who would help me out by getting into the supporting position called "The Juicy Neck".

OK, I'm out of time and have to go back to work, so here's what I'm gonna do... I'll post this so I can at least keep Lucky from being forced to go over to the Walmart, and keep Pantysue from having to endure another night of lapdancing. OK, I realize that keeping Pantysue away from lapdancers is harder than getting Vaseline out of your hair, but at least maybe I can save Lucky from those filthy bathrooms. So when I get home from work today, IF I have time, and IF I have the energy, I'll read through my Tease Time notes and add anything that I think you all might be interested in reading about, and then I'll republish this. I'll try it this way for this week anyway, so we'll see how it works out. Actually, it may work out well because you'll have to visit my blog twice, since I AM going for the 20,000 readers milestone.

In the event I don't get to it tonight, oh well... sorry about that... but I'll give it my best shot.

OK, I've gotta go... see you all soon... and Princess, as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

P.S. Ace! Get your ass back here!


Note from next day... I know you're not gonna believe me, but I looked all over my computer desk at home last night for my Tease Time notes, and they were not where I thought they were. I looked through everything on my desk here at work today and can't find them here either. I hope they didn't end up in some catalog where they'll fall out when the next person opens it.

Either way, there won't be any additional Tease Time nuggets added to this post. You'll just have to wait for next week's report. I'm sooooooo sorry....

I'm Down And Just In Time For Tonight's Chat...

I'm happy to report that I'm now back on the ground and doing fine after an extended visit to the ladies room. Thanks go out to Miss Tara, Lucky, and Giantess Gretchen for organizing and carrying out a very dangerous rescue maneuver. I have to say that Giantess Gretchen's punt of Lucky's blimp afterwards was really impressive! I only found out later that it eventually came down over in Lake Mead.

In case anybody is looking for me, I'll be busy for the next week or two squeezing out a tanker truck full of pineapple juice, as well as arranging delivery of some Godiva Chocolates for Miss Tara and some hot boot videos for Lucky.

And BTW, I want to clear up one thing. The reports that I had become huge were totally innacurate. I am still the same size as I was before. The camera angle just made it appear that I had grown to the size of Big Tex.

I'm also planning on attending the Stroke Princess' Tease Time chat tonight, and I will be looking forward to giving lots of dirty looks to all of my "friends" who left me stranded up on that tower for all that time. I thought I might get a lift down from PantyKong, but she kept getting distracted by the lap dancers and the last I saw of her, she was humping that Eifel Tower thingy with her cage. Strangely enough, Princess Grace has kept a conspicuous silence through all of this.

As for those responsible for putting me up there in the first place and nearly ruining my precious flower car in the process, my lawyers will be talking to you as soon as they can find you. It seems that sightings of the Incredible Dork and the Green Princess have completely stopped, as if the two of them have totally fallen off the face of the earth. If my lawyers can't find them, I'll have to bring in the big guns by hiring my friend Friday to do the job. I suppose she'll have to bring that incompetent boss of hers along. She signed some kind of an employment agreement with him that obligates her to let other people think that Tracer is actually the brains of the outfit. Well, all I can say is that without her, Tracer's PI business would go down the shithole along with all those bean burritos.

Well, it's Thursday and I hope that Ms Grace makes it to Tease Time tonight. Maybe the Green Princess will show up in Her place instead. I'm not sure of the connection between the two, but there's a certain resemblance there besides the green color, and She and the Green Princess have never been seen at the same location at the same time. I'm beginning to suspect that there may be some connection between the two. But that could'nt be, could it? Princess Grace could never leave Her little bitchass sitting up on top of a tower for all that time... could She??? OK, I know She left me in that pink plastic cage a few times for a lot longer than that, but still......

Well, I expect all of you at Tease Time tonight at 10 Eastern in the Kink Chatroom. We'll see who shows up, whether it's the Stroke Princess or the Green Princess. Only time will tell.

See y'all there!

little bitchass

Just Wanted To Let My Readers Know...

There will be no more blogposts in this blog until somebody gets me and what's left of my car down off of this stupid tower.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, too bad, I'm not in the mood to talk about it. You can read about it here if you want... or not... either way, I just don't give a shit...

little bitchass

Tease Time and I Was Wrong.. It IS As Dire As I Thought...

Last night's Tease Time started out like most others. The Stroke Princess arrived and everyone else in the room instantly got needy and wanty... including me... Of course, I had good reason to be... I don't do my walkies on Thursday, so I had not cum in over a day! I don't know what anybody else was needy and wanty about.

Talking about my walkies is a good lead-in to my next topic, which is, as usual, MsGrace. Princess has embarked on a workout program, and claims it's making Her feel really good. That's great news! When Princess feels good, the rest of us feel good. When Princess doesn't feel good, She occupies Her time by looking at Her massive keyring full of keys, and starts thinking about who's locked up and who's not. That's when She usually looks in Pantysue's direction.

Princess is also replacing all of Her food and drinks with bottled water. Now, I know from being on Princess' water program, that drinking a lot of water means a lot of extra trips to the bathroom, and She only has me drinking 5 glasses a day. With as much water that Princess says She's drinking, She must practically live in Her bathroom. Wonder if She has been taking Her calls from in there? I'll have to listen carefully on my next call and see if I can hear that rich reverb that makes everybody sound so good when they sing in the shower.

One mystery that I have to try and figure out was why Princess is acquiring a collection of umbrellas from Banky. Either She is expecting one heck of a lot of rain, or there is a new umbrella perversion starting up that I've never heard about. I'll have to ask Lucky about this because he knows a lot about obscure sexual perversions.

This brings us around to the reason for the title to this post. In my last post, I said I was having an attack of conscience about the way I had been treating the Incredible Half-pint. Well, I was wrong. BillyHulk came into the chatroom late, and proceeded to threaten and terrorize everyone. Well, at least he threatened me plenty of times last night. He might be tiny, but there's just no excuse for picking people up, throwing them around, and generally acting like an asshat, so I'm not gonna feel sorry for that diminutive dork anymore. Funny though, I noticed that he didn't try to pick up Princess and throw Her. I wonder why that was?

There was another chatter in the room last night who was fairly close to the same size as Shrinking Violet, and so billyHulk naturally gravitated over to our multi-legged friend, Tonydshrimp. Shrimpy is normally very mildmannered and polite, but billyHulk is obviously a bad influence on him. Maybe once billyHulk shrinks enough so that he's smaller than Shrimpy, then he won't hold as much sway over the Noble Shrimp.

As it was, billyHulk coerced Shrimpy to start climbing up Princess like She was Mount Grace or something. At one point, Little Green sunk a piton into my leg, so he could get a headstart on Shrimpy with his climb. Have you ever had somebody jab a sharp steel piton deep into your thigh? Well, let me tell you it hurts! And you wonder why I'm not feeling so compassionate after last night?

Well, the climb continued, with both the tiny crustacean and the language challenged mutant exploring the various hills and caves that they encountered along the way. Of course, Princess turned the climb into one of Her patented teases and before long everyone else in the room started to climb onto Her too. This got Princess a bit irritated, and so She cranked Her sex swing up close to the ceiling and only the two teenie-weenies were allowed to hang on. Eventually though, I think Princess started to get annoyed by the constant threats and mouthing off by billyHulk, and when an opportunity presented itself, Princess acted on it.

That opportunity arrived in the form of a new blogger, Betty Ross. For some unexplained reason, Betty has some kind of a warped attraction to billyHulk, and wants to hug and kiss him a lot.

Eeeeiiiiuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Anyway, as soon as Betty got inside the door, Princess grabbed the little green turd by the ear and tossed him right at Betty. Betty made a very impressive backhanded stab and snagged billyHulk on the first bounce. Little hulkiewulkie is pretty much socially challenged, so instead of complimenting Betty on her nice catch, he instead reacted to her gesture by trying to stick one of his pitons into her forehead.

While all this was going on, Princess horrified Shrimpy by informing him that She had eaten a bunch of his brothers and sisters earlier that day for lunch. Even though he was stunned by Her revelation, I noticed that he didn't try to get down from his perch on top of one of Her Twin Peaks. I guess Shrimpy must have lots of unnecessary relatives. and can spare a few here and there.

And on that note, that's my report on this week's Tease Time. Be sure to visit next week's Tease Time with the Stroke Princess next Thursday night in the Kink Chatroom at 10 Eastern.

And as always Princess, Your bitchass wuvs You! Oh! Guess what???

little bitchass

Well, I Guess The Situation Is Not As Dire As I First Thought...

I was busy trying to beat the deadline for my last post, and missed a very important development in the billyHulk matter. It seems that now he's developed a severe case of shrinkage.

He's gotten so small that Miss Tara has determined that he is just about the "cutest widdle thing", and instead of wanting to spank his ass bloody, now she wants to cuddle him. How dangerous could a guy the size of a garden gnome be? Especially with him locked up in that cage just like Pantysue.

I'm starting to have conflicting feelings on the matter. I guess you could say that maybe my conscience is bothering me a little for making fun of him. I mean, I hate what Steroid Poster Boy did when he kicked in my front door the first couple of times, tried to smash my blog, and demolished my best coffee table and also the next two that I bought to replace it. Oh, and I'll never let him use my bathroom again... EVER! But I also feel a little bad for him, because now his strength is going away as fast as his height is.

I was watching TV last night and thought I heard this little tapping noise, so I went and opened the front door, causing the little guy to fall facefirst into my living room just as he was delivering another roundhouse kick in a pitiful attempt to smash down my door. There was no way he was gonna be able to break it down, so I left the door open a crack and went back to watch TV. He eventually showed up in front of my couch, and I stifled a smile and pretended not to notice as he wore himself out trying to break my newest coffee table.

Trying to keep a straight face while he's knocking himself out is not working, so I've come up with a plan that should keep the little shit from being too embarrassed.

So here's my plan... I'm having the front door replaced and a new balsa wood model installed on breakaway hinges. My coffee tables are all gonna be built with breakaway parts, so they'll collapse easily whenever anybody as much as touches them. That should be good for his self esteem.

I'm trying to find a scaled down model of my flower car, hopefully made of really thin plastic, so he can toss it without too much heavy lifting on his part. I've got the original car hidden where he'll never find it. I know this is silly, but I figure I don't want to be the one responsible for the little dude stroking out if it ever comes to that.

If I had some Lego building blocks, I might even build a model of Tokyo for him to smash. No matter what he breaks, I'll be sure to pretend that I'm suitably horrified.

OK, I know this is silly, but I'm thinking that someday he may stop shrinking and get big and not so cuddly again, and I'm thinking that if he does, I don't plan on being on his "billyHulkHate" list. I'm sure that cousin Zorak's side of the family would disagree, but this is how I'm dealing with it.

So for anyone reading this, let this sad story be a lesson to you all... "Roids are bad for you!"...

little bitchass

Something Needs To Be Done About This...

I'm sure that by now, you've all heard about the heartrending situation involving the accidental transformation of BillyBear into billyHulk. In case you missed it, read about it here.

When I said "accidental", I wasn't being totally accurate, because the former fuzzy blue bear actually did ask to be injected with an untested and unproven drug. Even though this was the action of a complete moron, I can't help but feel just a little sorry for the "Big Green Jerk", as he is quietly being referred to these days.

I believe in practicing the "live and let live" philosophy, but really, things are starting to get a little out of hand here. He is becoming a very mean and nasty mutant. In only the past few days, he has been threatening to smash blogs and seems to have developed a deepseated hatred for art cars. It's only a matter of time I suppose before my own beloved flower car gets thrown into some active volcano crater thousands of miles away.

So before this situation gets totally fubar, I thought I'd ask for some input as to what we can do to help the dangerous poor slob change back into the safe poor slob. Please send in any suggestions you might have, and we'll have a town meeting in about a week to decide on our course of action. I don't think I need to remind you all of the devastation that could occur to our town's only Crisco factory and the huge town square Christmas tree during Christmas season. If you're worried about stirring up his wrath, don't worry, I don't think he reads very well but I'll disguise your names anyway. That is, if I can remember to do it.

Please act quickly as I can't afford to keep replacing my smashed coffee tables. God have mercy on us all.

little bitchass