In Memory Of A Friend

In case any of you readers don't know by now, Miss Tara from the LDW Group passed away on November 29, 2009. The details of her passing are on Little Giselle's blog, and I won't repeat them here. There is also a follow-up post by Giselle that really illustrates the type of person that Miss Tara was. I hope you will all go and read Giselle's posts.

When I heard the news, I was totally stunned. Stunned by the passing of a person whom I've never even met in person. People seem to come and go so quickly in Miss Tara's profession, but this was a real shock to me. This is at least the 4th time I've sat down to write something appropriate, but the words have just seemed to escape me. I can't let it go another day without writing something, and please bear with me while I try to express a few things.

Like it says in the title of this post, Miss Tara was a friend. She might've been a long distance friend, an online friend if you will, but a friend nonetheless. She even surprised me by sending me a few birthday cards in the mail, with really thoughtful and sweet messages handwritten on each. She was totally special, and I doubt that there ever was or ever will be another person quite like her. I'll never forget that unique voice, her unbridled laughter on her radio show when something struck her as funny. She was also a talented writer, and on more than one occasion she pointed me to some of her written work that I feel very privileged to have been allowed to read. I hope that Ms Ally can find a way to keep Miss Tara's blog open somewhere where people can read it and remember her. She deserves at least that much.

My first recollection of Miss Tara was from one of my early visits to the chatroom at LDW. I didn't know her from Adam, and only a few seconds after entering the chatroom, she says "Jem! You're so outrageous!" I wasn't sure what I did that was so outrageous, and was trying to figure it out, when she said it again. Then a light clicked on in my head and I realized that it was a quote fron the old Jem cartoon. It was also my first exposure to Miss Tara's vast storehouse of pop culture trivia.

We became close chatroom friends after that, and after quite a while I was even directed to call her on the phone by Ms Grace. I was pretty nervous on the call, and I think Miss Tara may have been a little nervous as well. I didn't want to mess up any mental image of me that she might've had, and maybe she felt a little of that too. We did have a great call, but most of my interaction with her was in the chatroom and blogs. That's where I realized what a great roleplayer she was.

Miss Tara had a radio show for a while, and whenever I was able to get home from work early enough, I tried to make it into chat. She always gave me a great big welcome when I would come into the room, and we would always end up dancing to The Cootie Song, which she'd play especially for me. I'd had to change my avatar because my old one wasn't available on the new chat client, and the one I picked happened to look like an alien bug to Miss Tara. So from then on, I was Jembug or Buglet, depending on her mood that day. One of her favorite phrases was "Don't come near me with those cuh-reepie feelers!" I sooooo loved hearing her laugh during those radio shows.

Even without radio, we used to have hilarious nights in the chatroom whenever Miss Tara was there. A lot of the times that Billybear and I were in there, we would try and liven it up (disrupt?) to the point where it teetered on the brink of anarchy. I'll always remember those nights, which would invariably result in Billybear and/or me being spanked by Miss Tara (as only Miss Tara could) and sent to stand with our noses against the wall until we were allowed to come back. It didn't take much instigation by Ace or Lucky or Giselle to get us spanked either.

She had a wonderful knack for balancing on the fine line of being professional and not offending the other clients, while at the same time jumping right into whatever insanity we had brewed up that night. A great example of that would be her participation in the first chatroom appearance of Tracer Bullet Billy and Girl Friday. That night bordered on mayhem, but was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen or been a part of in the chatroom. I often wonder what a first time visitor to the chatroom might've thought if he showed up in the middle of one of those.

She was an avid reader of our blogs, and she jumped wholeheartedly into whatever crazy storylines we would write her into. She loved the haiku and whatever else we did. Her comments were a source of validation for my writing, because I respected her writing skills so much. If you haven't yet, I invite you to read back through the archives of this blog and Billybear's blog, especially under the Tracer Bullet Billy labels, and see what I'm talking about. Don't forget to read her comments! I was happy that Miss Tara agreed to guest write on one of the last Girl Friday posts before she passed as well. It was the first time I had tried it and she eagerly participated. I emailed Miss Tara with a list of questions for her interview with Girl Friday, and I cut and pasted her responses into the story. It worked out really well, and I'm happy now that I have Miss Tara in her own words as a part of my story. Except for one comment on a later post, that was the last time Miss Tara was able to participate. I'm not sure if I'll continue with those storylines or not, because since Billybear moved on, Miss Tara had been the only other real inspiration I had for writing them. I may possibly continue them as a tribute in the future, but I will definitely be retiring the Zorak character and any references to my bugness in the chatroom.

I guess I've said most of what I wanted to say, but I'm sure that in the future I'll wish I said more. I didn't want this post to depress anyone, rather I wanted it to be a celebration of Miss Tara's uniqueness. I really wish she was still here, but I hope that where she is now, she's able to sit out in that chaise lounge and read in the sun, but she'll never get another sunburn.

Miss Tara, you were a wonderful friend and I can only look forward to seeing you on the other side someday. If there's anything that I can feel good about, it's that I was somehow able to keep you laughing either in the chatroom or in the blogs. I hope to hear that laughter again someday! You are sorely missed.

And so for one last time....

your buglet..... ::touches you with my cuh-reepie feelers::

Incognito At The LDW Club

Hi everybody. It's me again. Girl Friday. Sorry I'm late. I just got back to the office. I had to get my mom to bail me out of the slammer. Yep, the bulls collared me for something that happened on my factfinding mission over at the LDW Club. I'll explain later, but at least I feel a little better about the whole experience because I was able to palm the set of bracelets they used on me and get them into my purse without them noticing. A good dick can never have too many handcuffs.

Back to business. The LDW Club. I went there to try and get some leads for the investigation I'm working on. You know the kinda joint I'm talking about. Smoke filled bar with a private chatroom in the back behind the secret door type of place. I was already in a foul mood when I got there. I had to hike my skirt up for 3 taxis before one would stop. I must be slipping. Maybe I need to start wearing some darker nylons to hide the scars on my knees better. To make matters worse, the cabbie all of a sudden remembered a previous trip Tracer and I made in his cab. That's the time Tracer stiffed him for the fare, and so he red-lighted me out of his hack on my keister. I had to hoof it the last 6 blocks to the club.

I arrived at the club, and there was some big dumb palooka blocking the door. Probably the bouncer from the looks of him. I had just started to walk past him when he stopped me by grabbing my boobs with both hands. At least this time my cheaters didn't pop out because I finally remembered to sew the velcro strips onto them. They stayed stuck in my bra pretty good. I slapped the goon across the kisser as hard as I could. Well, he just laughed like some kind of goofball and said, "I guess you're OK Miss", and stepped out of the way and let me pass. I composed myself and went inside to see if I could find that Miss Tara dame.

Once inside, I had to let my eyes get used to the smoky dimness before I could give the place a good look-see. There was loud music playing on a jukebox in the corner. The joint had been remodeled since the last time Tracer and I were there, and nothing looked familiar. As I scanned the room, I saw a bunch of people up at the bar, some sitting, some standing. I noticed that just about every guy had his hand in his pants, and the girls all seemed to be rubbing up against the guys. My keen powers of observation kicked in and I noticed that most of the girls looked like they could've used a shave, but I figured that it was just the dim lighting playing tricks with my eyes. I also noticed that a lot of the girls had their hands up their own dresses too.

Just as the real explanation hit me, I spied a movement at the back of the room. I just happened to be looking in the right direction when one of the customers pulled an antler on the stuffed moosehead, and a big hunk of wall slid open and he walked through. While the panel was open, I caught sight of some people dancing and sitting around in the next room. I made a beeline for the door, but it slid closed just before I got to it.

I yanked on the moose's antler, but it was the wrong one, and it broke off with a loud snap. Luckily the music was loud, and nobody seemed to notice what happened. I had to think quickly. Like lightning, I took the gum out of my mouth and stuck the antler back on the moosehead, but it only held for about 2 seconds before it fell off again. Trying to look as innocent as possible, I nudged it behind a big potted plant with my foot. Then I pulled down on the other antler. The panel slid open and I slipped through the opening and into the chatroom.

I lit a gasper and looked around. The chatroom wasn't smoky like the room with the bar had been, and it was lit by some pink lamps and furnished with couches and chairs scattered all over the place. Thinking that this was probably one of those new non-smoking chatrooms, I quickly stubbed out the butt on my shoe. It's a good thing smokes are cheap.

There was a dancefloor in the center of the room, and a small stage against the opposite wall. I headed for a vacant seat in the darkest corner of the room, where I could sit virtually unseen while I got a slant on the situation. There was some chippy doing a standup comedy routine on the stage, making jokes about finally having a chance to do some makeover or something. Funny, but she seemed to have a little 5 o'clock shadow too.

There were other people sitting around on the couches, with a few snappily dressed ladies mixed in that I knew to be Mistresses. Tracer and I had met a few of them on our earlier visits. That Miss Tara dame was a Mistress too, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.

I tried to tune in on some of the background conversation around me, and whenever I was able to pick up a few words here and a few sentences there, it was always something about somebody only having a couple of inches or less of something. I couldn't get all of it, but while I was trying to make sense of what they were saying, a door over by the stage swung open, and Miss Tara stepped into the room.

In the pink light, I could see that she was wearing a pair of snug fitting leather pants that really showed off her shape, with a soft pastel blouse and a pair of black boots with stiletto heels. I started to lose my concentration for a second, but quickly snapped back to the job at hand. I was working for a client, and needed to have all of my wits about me. I decided to discretely approach her.

I had worn a pair of 5 inch heels for the occasion, so I could fit in with the rest of the crowd, and when I stood up I kinda lost my balance a little and knocked over the big floorlamp that was next to me. It fell over, hitting the floor with a loud crash and sparks flew everywhere. So much for being discrete. I nonchalantly made my way over to Miss Tara trying to act like nothing had happened.

"Hello Miss Tara, it's been a long time since we've actually chatted in the flesh. I must say you're looking very well. How have you been? I was hoping you might be able to help me with my latest investigation into BillyBear's disappearance. Do you think you could? You remember who I'm talking about, right? And where did you buy those amazing boots? If I had a pair of those, I'd be able to flag down a taxi in one try!"

A voice in my head chimed in, "Calm down, Friday.... take a breath... relax... remember what they taught you in PI school... "Don't ask all of your questions at once... wait until she answers the first one, you sap!"

::Deep breath::

::Deep breath::

I was snapped out of my deep breathing exercise by the sound of Miss Tara's sultry voice.

"Hello Friday. It's good to see you again. My condolences on your dead boss. He was a real dick you know. Now, what is it that you'd like to know?"

"Well, for starters, I know that BillyBear had a lot of aliases. Are you familiar with any of those? It would be helpful for me to know them all."

"Hmm Billy's alias. There are so many! The fuzzball is such a warped.. I mean, multifaceted personality, he NEEDS those names. Lets see, BillyPrincess, BillyProphet, MostHolyBilly, the Perverted Elf, the Legendary Pervert, the Legendary Dom aka MasterBilly, BillyHulk, Angsty Teenaged Goth Billy, wolverBilly (shing shing) Billybunny and many more. Whew!"

"You mentioned that one of his aliases was 'The Perverted Elf". Was he actually a pervert?"

"As for Billy being a perverted Elf, not only was he a pervert, he was a Legendary Pervert. Why, Billy held the Order of the MELON! He admitted to Canine Curiousity, after being molested by a doggie while Thorazined in the bushes, not to mention Princess's dog while Billy hid in her bed, pretending to be a stuffed animal. Hell, he has an insatiable WOOKIE! I can state that Billy, as proven by his own blog, is an incredible pervert."

"You mean Princess' dog did BillyBear too? With the doggie strap-on? Wait til I tell Bitchass about this one!" ::stifles a giggle::

"OK, where was I? Oh... ummm... yes... BillyBear used to do some strange experiments in that big lab over by the river. You can see it from the upper windows of the LDW Club. Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary over that way?"

"Out of the ordinary? At the Not so Secret Lab? Well, let's see, there was the bombing and the rebuilding based on those extort... I mean, donated funds from that nice Cookie Maven, Mr. Ace. There were always rumors of kitten abuse and robots and... well, anything. But lately, there have been people all over the place at night. They claim to see lights in the skies, like, UFOs or something, and to tell the truth, I don't think they all can be crackpots. I haven't seen the lights myself, but I'm not some wookie worshipping geek, either."

I began to panic as I frantically searched my near term memory to see if I might've pulled a Tracer and accidently called her a wookie worshipping geek, I didn't recall doing it, but if I did, I'd find out soon enough.

"I certainly didn't mean to imply that you worshipped wookies, but to be fair, it was proven in the last census that almost 90% of the people here in Paradise are crackpots. ::Nervous glance at the door:: But nonetheless, this thing about the lights in the sky could be important. I'll keep an eye peeled for any hinky activity over there."

Regaining my composure, I pressed on...

"I understand that BillyBear was working on something in the lab called a Transmorgifier, and that those experiments had some unpredictable results. Do you think that machine could be linked to those lights or maybe even to his disappearance?"

"Oh lawsie, the Transmorgifier! Do you know, that is how he BECAME BillyBear? He was feeling sort of weak, if I recall, much put upon, and wanted to feel all big and tough. So, he pictured a big strong Grizzly, the sort of sharp toothed, killer clawed brute that every chat denizen would fear and perhaps he'd impress his fair Princess. Instead...he turned into a four foot tall festively plump little blue waddling Care Bear. And, while he wasn't fearsome, he was totally adorable. Ms Grace would snuggle him on her lap and everything. I think the cuteness ate away at him until he started carrying Implements of Incredible Ingenuity. That led to shaving and spankings and the Tazer of Terrible Tenderness. But I digress...the Transmorgifier was never anything but trouble. All he ever used it for was to cause trouble, further his own aims and do wierd experimental shit. One of his personalities is a furry blue Mad Scientist, I swear!"

"Wierd experiments huh? Hmmmmm... I wonder... ::scribbles feverishly in my notebook:: Earlier you mentioned kitten abuse. It's a known fact that BillyBear had a little kitten named Mittens that used to accompany him everywhere. Do you have any knowledge of the whereabouts of said kitten?"

"Don't get me started on Mittens. I tried to help that poor little thing many times. Billy was never quite right, you understand. He always had imaginary animals to abuse, I remember poor Paulie the platypus, the things that Billybear did to him as a child, even before that crushing Incident at DisneyWorld...never heard from Paulie again after that, just as well that Billy had been Put Someplace. But then, as an adult, there was mittens who suffered enormously and imaginarily at his paws. I stole her several times, pampered and loved her, but in a very clever disguise as BillyPotter, the boy who jizzed, that dratted bear realized that even a mistress couldn't separate him from his own imaginary cat. There's no way he thought of that himself. When I find out who led BillyPotter onto THAT thought, I'll be administering some serious spankweed. Anywho, it did come in handy when I needed inside information from the Lab. Mittens was always willing to do a pal a favor, and I made sure there was fresh tuna or salmon in the bargain. If ol Blue greedy guts didn't find it and hog it up first. Plus, Mittens could communicate with Robo Mittens, the Mad Scientist's faithful mechanical Igor, and sometimes we could head off the most lame brained schemes. Not often. Okay, never. But at least we knew they were going to happen. What was sweet is the way Mittens bonded with that nice bimbo boobed Jemmie's bird, Vash the Destroyer. Even Billybear kept a picture of them on his blog. I worry about poor little Mittens..."

"I have it on good authority that you've conversed with Billybear on a fairly regular basis, and that you actually were shot by him on one or more occasions. How did you feel about that?"

"I have actually spent a lot of time talking with Billybear, not as much time as I would have liked, but a lot. And as much as I give him a hard time, I like the perverted fuzzball. He's smart, he's funny, he can be very sweet and I miss him. I realized the other night of whom he reminds me, I've wondered this a lot. If you read Robert Heinlein, he narrates in first person in several of his books. The lead character is usually confident, self deprecating, smart and funny. Billy reminds of Zeb from Number of the Beast and Richard from The Cat that Walks through Walls, in some ways. But then, there is the instigator. The knee gnawing, mittens kicking MISS TARA SHOOTING side of the Billy! There have been times when the festively plump schemer has been more annoying than a fat blue mosquito in my ear! The time he turned himself into that little green fucker BillyHulk and wrecked everything in sight! When he was a teenaged angsty Goth Wolverbilly with shing shing claws and a whiny attitude, he got Ms Grace and I high and GLUED my hands to my favourite jeans! Do you know how many times I had to listen to the chicken dance? Where IS that little BillyBastard? I'll wring his non existent... that's right, and lately he's been telling everyone that I'm a vampire. Because I'm naturally pale and a night owl... he slandered me over and over in that tabloid rag of his, The Occasional Assassin until I brought in a little serious legal power known as Wolfram and Hart! That will fix him! Unless of course, I shave his ass and beat his butt Baboon red first!"

"Oh yes... Wolfram and Hart... My mom told me about them. Famous songwriting team from way back in the sixties. Wonder how long ago they went legit? They must be some pretty old geezers by now. Err... ummm.. back to business... In your conversations with BillyBear, did he ever mention any places that he liked to visit? You know, like a favorite vacation spot or something?"

"You know, Billy does travel a bit. He talks about going to the North Pole to free his enslaved people, backs bent in labor, working night and day for the Claus. The Perverted Elf feels their pain, but then he would get distracted by pixies or panties or a call to his Princess, or a nap, or a snack, or kicking mittens, or maybe a vision or a shiny penny lying on the sidewalk. You know, he's busy. He tends to like the tropics, and he has friends on Giantess Island, you know. If he could get past the mutant sharks, he's got Pothead, who is a favourite of Giantess Gretchen and is allowed to grow her mutant weed. Pothead would know all the good hiding places if Billy had to lay low from the Man, or from Giantess Gretchen if he pissed her off again. She tends to blow hot and cold when it comes to Billybear. He once convinced her that your nice galpal Jem was evil! Poor Jem suffered for Billy's lies that day, but I think GG eventually figured it out and stomped Billy into a fur rug. You might want to head out there, Giantess Island would be a great place for one more freaky perv to escape."

"Hmmmmmm.... Giantess Gretchen you say? ::sweat beads up on my forehead as I scribble furiously:: OK then, one thing that has always puzzled me... what was his favorite color?"

"Huh???"

I could clearly see from her reaction that my questions were beginning to get stupid. Was I losing my edge? I wondered if I might be getting distracted by the Mistresses in the room. Or had the mere thought of having another close encounter with Giantess Gretchen rattled me? After all, it was on my first case with Tracer, looking for that very Giantess, that I was shot in my knee for the first time. I decided to wrap things up and head back to the office to go over my notes.

"Well I guess that's the crop. Thanks for your time, Miss Tara, there's a lot of new angles here for me to chew on, and if you think of anything else you want to spill, here's my card. You can reach me on the blower if anything comes up"

And with that, the interview was over, and I headed for the secret panel. I couldn't see any mooseheads on this side of the wall, or any other kind of antlered heads for that matter, and so I just stood there with a moronic look on my face, trying to figure out how I was gonna get back out to the other room. I became aware of some scattered laughter aimed in my direction, and as if on cue, everybody in the room clapped twice in unison, and the wall slid open to let me out. Don't you just hate it when everybody else knows something that you don't?

I thought I was in the clear, but just as I was heading through the opening, I slipped in something wet on the floor, and I fell hard, with my ass landing right in a puddle of some kind of slimy goo. With as much dignity as I could muster, which admittedly wasn't much, I headed for the street. But as I walked past the grinning bouncer at the door, he reached out and grabbed my caboose and squeezed.

Well, I had just about as much fun as I could take from that bozo in one night. In one smooth motion, I wheeled around, reached into my bra, pulled out my roscoe and drilled him in both knees. I made two great shots. Dead center on both caps. The silly grin vanished, and he started rolling around on the floor like somebody had shot him. I stood around a little too long though, soaking up the satisfaction, and the coppers were on me before I could breeze out of there.

You were wondering how I got pinched? That's how.


(to be continued)

Girl Friday

On Tease Time And Other Burning Questions...

Regarding Tease Time, I didn't go to Tease Time last night so I don't know if Princess put one on or not. Maybe somebody could enlighten me on this one.

I also thought I would save everybody some time and effort, and answer the 3 most common questions you will be asking me if you see me around the chatrooms. Here are the answers. Write them down so I don't have to keep answering them over and over again...

1. No.

2. I don't know.

3. Beats the hell outta me.

Well, have a great weekend, everybody!

Princess, as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

My My My... How Time Does Fly...

Thursday already? Where does the time go? Bitchass took 3 days of vacation, which along with the weekend meant I had 5 straight days of sleeping in and doing nothing. Today I'm back to work, and UGHHHH... the day just won't end...

Well, I did do some things, mostly housework, laundry, and running out for this or that, the most interesting things being going to the salon for a haircut/style, and then buying and installing a new router to replace the old one that had been losing its configuration whenever it was most inconvenient for me. It wasn't a huge problem having to reload the configuration file once or twice a day, but I finally got tired of having to do it and decided that it was time to go for something new. I ended up getting one of the new D-Link "N" routers and I installed it. So far so good, but right now I'm still on a wired connection and haven't tried installing the wireless adapter yet. I'm gonna play around with the configuration and make sure I don't have any problems for a few more days and then I'll install the matching wireless card.

I had another great day at the salon on Saturday. I didn't have anything special done, just got my split ends trimmed, along with some brow waxing and plucking. My stylist did a style with a lot of loose curls, which was nice for a change, but the best part about my visits is always the fun I have hanging out for the afternoon with all the girls who work there. They are wonderful! They all treat me like I'm just "one of the girls", and I always feel totally comfortable and at ease there. There's nothing like sitting in the salon, sipping a glass of white wine, and having someone playing around with your hair for a few hours. Well, there are a few other things that might top it, but you know what I mean. But eventually, like all the other clients, I have to leave, even if I'd rather hang out there all day.

I told you in my last blogpost about my phone call with the Stroke Princess, and I just received the birthday prezzie that She sent me. Thank You again, Princess! I decided that I'm not gonna tell you all what She bought for me, I'll just let you all use your imaginations. If She wants to tell you She can, but I'm thinking it's more fun to make you all wonder what the prezzie was. ::giggle::

There's something else that Ms Grace did during our call that I completely forgot to tell you about in my previous blogpost. I'm sure this will ho-hum any but the sissies among my readers, but if it doesn't interest you, skip over this part. I'll tell you when to start reading again.

I had told Princess last year that I had bought a two-piece swimsuit that had a bra top with those triangle shaped cups. I had been wearing that whenever I went to the tanning salon, and I developed some very nice tanlines. These tanlines were so distinct that when I showed Princess a picture of them, She said it looked like I was still wearing a white bikini top.

But I stopped tanning in the top early this tear, because I wanted to see what my boobs looked like with a tan, and so I started just wearing the bottoms. Mt tan is pretty much evened out now, but still, it's not as dark as it was late last season. I had gotten busy and had only been going about once a week, and so the overall tan has been fading a little bit. That brings us back to the present.

During our call, I mentioned to Princess that maybe it was time to get a new swimsuit, but maybe this time one that would leave more interesting tan lines. Princess just giggled and right away went to the Victoria's Secret site and found out that there was a swimsuit sale going on. She showed me a lot of different swimsuits that She thought would be good, before finally deciding on this one.


I ordered it while She waited. Princess, the tanlines from this one will be interesting for sure!

Well, to make a long story short, the swimsuit arrived yesterday, but I was too busy to open the package. I'll do that when I get home tonight, and if it's the right one and everything fits, I'll start working on Princess' new tanlines this weekend. OK, the rest of you can start reading again.

I've also been continuing with the "Walkies 'n Water" program, with no cummies allowed since the one during our call and the two She allowed me on my birthday. Now it's back to not knowing when the next one will be. I haven't talked to Princess since the call, and so I still have no idea what Her "Big Plan" for me is. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough, and I also know that I foolishly already agreed to it in exchange for being allowed to cum the other night. I'm so tired of breadsticks...

At the beginning of this post, I said that today was Thursday already. You all know about what happens on Thursday nights. Yes, it's Tease Time, and I hope that I don't have any computer problems like the ones that made me miss last week's chat. I'm gonna stop on the way home and get a birthday cheesecake so that I'll have it to eat during Tease Time, which will satisfy the last of the homework assignments that the Stroke Princess gave me during our call.

I hope to see you all there, and Princess, as always... You know what?

little bitchass

It Seems Like Just Yesterday That I Posted Something... Oh Wait.. It WAS Yesterday, Wasn't It?...

My last post showed you the condition that the Stroke Princess' denial program has left me in. Well it didn't get any better at work yesterday, and it definitely didn't get any better last night. I did catch a break in that I didn't have to sit and watch any hotties at the gas station and since last night was not my walkies night, I didn't have to endure seeing those tanned legs and long, swinging ponytails on the walking track. The relief was short-lived though, because after I ate dinner, it was time to go to the Kink Chatroom for Ms Grace's Tease Time chat.

Bear with me because my notes are not too easy to read today, probably because my handwriting suffers when I'm doing more than one thing with my right hand at pretty much the same time.

I had just finished dinner and was sitting down at the desk when I noticed the orange button lit up at the bottom of my screen, letting me know I had an IM waiting. I opened it and, yep it was from who you think, and She was telling me that She had gone into the chatroom a bit early, and for me to stop in if I was around. So in I went. When Ms Grace invites me somewhere, I don't fool around doing other things, I'm there ASAP.

My first order of business after arriving in the chatroom is always to greet Princess and any other Mistresses, then I pick Princess up and give Her my customary TWIRLLLLL, which excites Her right off the bat. Well, maybe it doesn't excite Her so much as to make Her dizzy, but that's not what's important here. As long as She doesn't throw up, what's important is that I show Her I'm happy to see her when She's around.

The next thing I do is to respond to everybody who has said hello while I was occupied with Princess Twirling, and after that I say hello to the rest of the room. That is, unless they are on my shit list, in which case I right away drop an ignore on their ass.

Princess began the chat by pointing out that there were subs above Her on the room list, and that this wouldn't fly. The ones who were above Her had better leave the room and come back with a letter in front of their names that would drop them down below Her on the list. A few didn't, and Princess had to threaten one of them, who had asked for a phone call after chat, that if he wanted to talk to Her, he'd better get his name fixed like, yesterday. Out the door he went.

The name change thing became a problem though, as more and more people flooded into the room. At one point, Princess said "Fuck this!" and added a second Avatar, with the name 1_Princess. This put Her back on top of the list and it solved the problem very neatly.

BillyBear made his triumphant return to Tease Time last night. BB has been worn down to the point of catatonia by the slavedriving, insect overlords at his workplace, and he was only able to make it into Tease Time last night after changing his name to the_zombieBB. It wasn't long though before Princess had him energized again and tossing insults at Steph Marie (who was continually trying to dispatch him) and myself. Next week I'm going to have to start bringing my kitchen utensils with me again. It was good to see the little blue fuzzball again though. Tease Time is missing something when he's not there.

Now Princess revealed that She had a few new MP3s for everybody to listen to, and sent everyone to Her blog to listen to them as She posted the links.

The first one was more stroker oriented, and it was called "Stroke_addiction". I'll try to link it to her blog to save you the trouble of navigating over there, but if you are smart, you will already have Her blog bookmarked so you can keep up on what's happening in Princessland. I hope the link works for you. If not, go to Her blog and find it for yourself.

The second new MP3 was a lot more up my alley, and I even told Princess later that I felt like She was talking directly to me in it. It was more sissy oriented and was called "Sissy Mindcontrol". Princess pushed a lot of my hotbuttons with this one, but I still have a lot of hotbuttons left in reserve that She didn't push with it. I guess She didn't want to take the chance of scaring anyone else away. I'm sure She won't let the rest of my buttons remain unpushed for very long, especially since She knows what a needy pet I am at the moment.

The notes that I took during and after listening to the MP3s get a lot fuzzier and harder to understand. I know why that is, and it's because listening to her MP3s always drop me into subspace, and once I'm down there, I'm not much good for the next few hours. But I'll try to make sense out of what notes I have, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.

Princess knew exactly where Her MP3s had left everyone, but She still likes to ask how everybody is feeling, and then lets out one of Her trademarked giggles. The responses are usually mixed, ranging from coherent answers to ones that make you go, "HUH???" I can tell you that listening to them made me even worse of a mess than I was the past few days, if that was possible.

While we were still slackjawed and drooling, Princess started telling us about some of the fantasies that She enjoys thinking about for Herself.

One is loosely based on an MP3 She made called "The Cummie Bowl", only this cummie bowl was not a bowl, but more like a bathtub. I'll let your imagination work with this one, but Her slow and teasy description of sliding those yummy feet of Hers into the tub was giving me all kinds of bad thoughts.

She also told everybody how much She loves watching boys stroke. She also likes to hear them when they cum... that is, if She lets them cum. She then told everyone to get out their cocks and clitties, and imagine being in a circle around Her. Everybody was told to stroke or rub while She launched into one of Her devilish teases. She was undecided on whether to let us cum or not, because there were a few of us who she wanted to get on the phone before She would even think about giving permission. In the end, nobody got to cum, because Princess thought it would be unfair to the ones who already weren't being allowed.

A wave of frustration rippled through the chatroom, and I could picture the evil grin that must have been lighting up Princess' face.

After everyone sorta calmed down, we all got into a discussion of good seafood. Shrimpy was visibly nervous as we discussed how good lobster, crablegs, and yes, shrimp tasted. Then Princess brought up cheesecake, which makes me almost as wanty as Her denial program does. She knows how much I like cheesecake, and how much I'd love a few pieces... and worked me over with that just like She does with Her sexual teasing. If only I wasn't on Her water and walkies program....

A few last facts that you may not know about... Princess says that beer and cigarettes make a person's cum taste bitter. Did you know that?

She also revealed that She has a straw fetish. The straws have to be big and thick, but I'll let Her explain that one to you.

One last item, next Saturday is my birthday, and it's supposed to be a surprise for me, but I think there may be a party in the chatroom next Thursday night. I'm not 100% sure of that though, since I'm not supposed to know, but stay tuned...

As for me, I'm outta here, and will see you all next time.

Princess, Your bitchass wuvs Youuuuuuu....

little bitchass

Hmmmm.... Thursday Already... Tease Time Is Tonight...

But since I'm on my lunch break at work, and since I feel like writing a little sumpin', I'll pass on a little "State of the Jem" post.

I got an email from the Stroke Princess yesterday afternoon, just before I left to make the trip home. She had just finished making a new MP3 and sent me a copy so I could give Her my opinion on it. She will probably deny this, but I know Princess, and She had another reason for sending it to me.

Princess Grace is always calculating a pet's wanty quotient, which I'll call the WQ for the remainder this post. With me, She knew that one, I couldn't listen to the MP3 at work, and I'd be anticipating it all through my drive home. If that isn't enough, Princess also knew that yesterday was Wednesday, which is my walkies day. That means that I have an even longer delay before I can listen. Princess knows all of this, and She calculates my WQ from all the factors.

Add to that the fact that at the moment, Princess has taken away my afterwalkies cumming privileges until She decides that I can start cumming again. I know that I have been locked up for long periods of time before, but I had forgotten just how tough denial by free will was. The only thing that makes wearing the cage harder is the fact that it's very uncomfortable and inconvenient, a big pain in the ass to keep clean, and you can't go commando if you want to.

So, I left work yesterday, knowing that it would still be another couple of hours before I even got to listen to the MP3. I was needy, wanty, and one horny pet the whole drive home.

During the drive, whenever I was stopped at a redlight, there always seemed to be a hot looking girl waiting in the next lane over. This drives me crazy, maybe she has sexy hair... maybe a hot set of earrings... maybe her makeup is yummy.. maybe she has awesome nails... all this keeps adding to my WQ.

Just before I got home, I realized I needed to get gas, so I pulled into my usual gas station, and ran smack into long lines. Just what I needed.. a longer wait. When the line moved enough to where the car right in front to me got to the pump, what happens? A freakin' hot looking little minx in a skirt (yes, hose and heels too) gets out and starts pumping gas. Any other time, this would have been some old guy in bermuda shorts and sandals with black socks. But no... not today... I have to sit here and watch this girl pumping gas... gripping the hose with her long fingers... mmmm... OMG... As I sat there looking at her, I realized that I was absentmindedly rubbing my crotch. WQ went to the top of the scale. Thankfully she got her gas pumped and left before I did a Lucky and needed to squeegee the inside of my windshield.

I got my gas without any further problems, surprisingly, because I still had the girl's image in my head, and I was lucky I didn't spray gas everywhere. Now it was time to head for the house and do my walkies. Then another half hour before I could eat some dinner. Then and only then could I finally get to listen to Princess Grace's MP3.

I got home, changed my clothes, including a bra that Princess specified that I wear when I walk, and went out the door to get the task over with. There's a small park near my house with a walking track, and so I drove over there instead of just walking around my neighborhood streets. This turned out to be a mistake, because it seemed like every other person walking was a cute girl in shorts, tanned legs a mile long, and every damn one of them had a long sexy ponytail, swinging back and forth over an equally sexy ass swinging from side to side. WQ went through the roof.

I made it back home without doing something in public that would make even Lucky blush, and ate my dinner, trying to not think about what listening to the MP3 was gonna do to me. But it was hopeless. I already knew what it was gonna do. But I listened to it anyway because Princess wanted me to.

The new MP3 dealt with the subject of brainwashing and mind control, and how Princess was able to control a seemingly strong man just by a visual trigger, and make him do whatever She wanted him to do. When he met Her, he thought She was gonna be just some easy lay, but oh how wrong he was. I'm not gonna tell you any more about what happens in the MP3, because I don't want to spoil it for you. Princess said She would be posting it soon. All I can say is that hypnosis and control is a pretty yummy subject for me, and hearing it played out in Princess Grace's awesomely sexy voice made it unbelievably hot for me. I was a total mess by the time the MP3 was over, and I mean mentally, because I was able to be good and do what Princess had told me, which was "NO CUMMIES!"

A while later, a little before bedtime, up pops an IM window from Princess. She wants to know what I thought of the MP3. Who did She think She was trying to fool? I could tell by all the giggles that She knew from the very beginning that I was already in a condition where listening to that thing would leave me drooling and slackjawed, with my hand rubbing desperately at my crotch. But I was able to verbalize enough to tell Her how much I enjoyed it, and I added that I hoped She was happy, because I knew that I was gonna have a very rough time lying in bed before going to sleep.

And I did. As I laid there, my thoughts were..

"C'mon jem... you want to don't you? Just edge for a little while... you don't have to cum... but what if you did cum? Princess will never know... c'mon.. you know you wanna...."

But I was able to fight off those demons and go to sleep before I did something that I would have been ashamed to have to tell the Stroke Princess about. It wasn't easy, but I knew I'd feel like shit afterwards if I defied Her instructions.

So that was my day. How was yours?

See you all tonight at Tease Time!

Princess, as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

Newsflash! A Change At Tease Time!

Well, it's probably old news by now, since I know of at least one blog that broke the story before I could scoop the Occasional Assassin. It doesn't help matters much that I'm posting about it 5 days after it happened, but bitchass has been busy.

The Stroke Princess decided to make a change to the show's format for a night, and She had Domina Amanda there to help Her manage a wild game of Truth or Dare. Ms Cassandra was present at the start of Tease Time as well, but had to leave before too long to go and take care of some other urgent matter. I think She had a dog to discipline. I'm not sure if he's housebroken or not, so maybe he peed on the floor or something.

Pretty much as soon as I got into the room, I was told I had to change my chatroom name to something starting with a letter later than "M". There's some kind of a bug it the chat client that is placing Mistresses down in the middle of the room list. They couldn't have a sub being on top of a Mistress, so I left and came back with the new name, "x_jem_of_the_jungle". I know it's not funny. I'm just reporting things from the notes I wrote down, OK?

Then, as soon as Truth or Dare was about to start, I was told that if I wanted to play the game, I now had to leave and add "player" to the front of my chatroom name. Out I went again, and now I was "player_x_jem_of_the_jungle". Again, not funny, but hey, it helps my word count.

Ms Grace started the game by going over the rules for the chatters. When you were chosen, you could choose either "truth" or "dare", with Princess Grace asking the "truth" questions, and Domina Amanda assigning the "dare" tasks. There were only a few souls brave enough to ask for a dare from Ms Amanda, but player_bankyboo and player_asia were a few of the ones who did. Asia was made to wear a pair of panties on his head until he was asked another question, which Potty had to have scoffed at as old hat... you know.. the "been there done that" thing. Banky was told to get on the phone with Princess Grace and fake a momentous woman's orgasm, and from what I heard, it was hilarious. Banky was probably more convincing at that than he was in his attempts to prove his manliness.

We had a chatter in the room named Molly, who seemed to want to play, but just couldn't wrap her head around the "leave and change your name" part. But she didn't let not having "player" tacked onto her name stop her, because she started helping out by answering other peoples questions when they were asked.

We also had a chatter who went by the name james696969, who was more intent on being an X-rated comedian than participating in the game. The game would've gone much smoother if someone had gagged him as soon as he first opened his mouth. I mean, if you want to play, sit back and play, but don't act like an ass and disrupt the game. That's being very disrespectful to the Mistresses trying to run the game.

Which also reminds me, I need to find out just what it was that tease_me_for_cash was on, because I sure want some of it for next week's chat.

As far as my involvement in the game, I thought it was kind of interesting that both of the questions I got asked involved buying stuff in sex shops.

Princess mentioned that the Truth or Dare format may either be continued as a feature in tease Time, or possibly even get it's own night. I liked the game, but at the same time, I also liked Tease Time in it's older format as well, so I'm hoping that the game will get it's own night. I hope if it does, that Domina Amanda continues to participate in it, because Her involvement added a whole new dimension to the game...

Fear!

LOL.... sorry Domina Amanda, I'm kidding! I totally enjoyed Your presence in the chat. I hope You and the Stroke Princess will form a team and make this a recurring event.

Well, I've about run out of notes, so that's it for this week's report, and I'll see y'all next time!

Princess Grace, You know Your bitchass wuvs Ya, don't Ya?

little bitchass

I Had The Good Fortune Of Being Able To IM With Princess Grace Yesterday...

We chatted about a lot of different things that have been going on, and there was quite a bit there to talk about, since I haven't been online or updating my blog very much these last few weeks, what with my air conditioning problems and being almost non-stop busy at work. I miss Her a lot when we don't get a chance to chat, and this time I felt guilty because it was my fault that we haven't chatted because I just haven't been around very much.

We had a great chat, but we had to wind it down because She had things to do, and I had to get back to work. But before we said goodbye, Princess gave me some homework. As you know if you have been keeping up with my blog (c'mon, it's not that hard, considering I've hardly been writing), Princess has had me drinking lots of water instead of soft drinks and doing an exercise walking program. I am walking for 30 minutes after work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. As a reward for doing my walkies, I get to cum that evening after I get home. Well, this has been great, because except for the one time that we played "The Cummie Game", this is more than I have cum in a week since the time I became one of Ms Grace's pets. Well, yesterday, Princess decided that it was time to change things up.

At first I panicked, because my first thought was,

"Oh no, She's gonna cage me!"

I asked Her what She had in mind, and She told me,

"Not what you think.. ::giggles::"

She said that She wasn't gonna cage me right now, but that She would leave the possibility hanging over my head, and that She liked the idea of me not knowing where and when She was gonna tell me to put the cage on. Instead, Her instructions were to edge for Her 3 times last night while listening to Her MP3s, and edge 4 more times today and tonight, but neither night was I gonna be allowed to cum. She left it at,

"after that, we'll see about Thursday."

And so, I'm left to wonder what She has in store for me tomorrow. The uncertainty is driving me nuts, along with the frustration of edging to the point of almost cumming, and then stopping.

Then there was more homework... After explaining to me what She wanted as far as the edging goes, She also told me that She wanted me to write Her a little essay. I think the idea came to Her from a part of our chat, where we talked a little bit about the fact that in a couple of months, we will be celebrating the 2-Year Anniversary of the date She took me as Her pet, and how awesome the last two years together have been.

And so, the second half of this blog entry will be my essay, and it's focused on You, Princess, because it's gonna be about our relationship. Of course, everyone else is welcome to read it too... I don't think Princess Grace will mind.

"What I Think It Takes"

When I'm in the chatroom, other people will ask me, "Where's Princess?" or "Have you seen Princess?" I had never given this a whole lot of thought before, but while thinking about this essay, I realized that most of the people who ask me this recognize the fact that Princess Grace and I are close friends, and so they think that I must know where She is at any given time. I usually don't know any more than anybody else, but I will agree that our relationship is special, and different than what I've seen with most others. This thought led me to the main topic of my essay, which is, what do I do that's different from others who never develop such a close relationship with Her?

In the 2 years that I have been Ms Grace's pet, I have seen quite a few people come and go. It always amazes me to see the methods that some people use to try and impress a Mistress to the point where She will take them as a pet. I'm not gonna go into specifics here, but I am constantly left shaking my head at the things some people do to get a Mistress' attention, which to my mind can't help but torpedo their chances. Instead, all I'm gonna write about are the things that I try to do in order to be a good pet for Ms Grace.

The first thing I do is to try and understand the reality of the situation. I can picture a lot of people right now who probably fell out of their chairs hearing that, because I've been accused many times of not being able to separate fantasy from reality, but I'm not going to get into that here, except to say that everything I do, no matter if it looks extreme to others or not, gives me some kind of satisfaction and makes me happy.

The reality that I'm talking about is that I try to keep in mind that Princess Grace is a professional PSO, who makes a living taking phone calls from clients. Any interaction that might occur outside of the paid phone call is Extra Credit and totally by Her choice. I'm NOT talking about meeting Her in person, but She may choose to exchange IMs or emails with people, and the reasons could be anything from wanting to keep the client interested between calls, to doing it because She just genuinely enjoys interacting with them. What I do is to try to make sure that She truly likes interacting with me.

In any relationship, and even though this may be a different type of relationship, it's a two-way street. The expression, "You get out of a relationship what you put into it" is very true in this case. I try to understand what it is that Princess enjoys, what feeds Her needs, and give as much of it as I can to Her. If I know that She enjoys being in control, then I give Her control. If I know that She enjoys locking people up, then I am willing to be locked up. If I know that She does NOT like to be pushed into things, then I don't do things that push Her. If I know that She likes to laugh, I try to make Her laugh.

The key here is that I keep in mind that this is not "all about me". Instead, as I see it, it's "all about Ms Grace", and I am always seeing people who clearly think that Princess owes them Her attention on a silver platter. This amounts to "pushing", and it doesn't surprise me that these people may not get a whole lot of contact with Princess outside of phone calls.

I think that Princess enjoys the fact that I'm always "willing". I'm willing to do things for Her that give Her enjoyment or tickle Her Domme bone. I don't ever have to worry about Her asking me do things that could be overly dangerous, and because of that, I can truthfully say that I would do anything for Her that She asks me to do. I trust Her completely, and that's why I don't worry. At the same time, being totally willing to do anything She tells me to do scratches my subbie itch as well. What we do is work together, and it gives us both satisfaction. Again, it's a 2-way street, and I recognize that.

Princess Grace also has a personal life, outside of Her area of employment. On occasion, She needs to take care of Her personal needs, and in doing so, She becomes less visible at times. This causes many of Her pets to suffer from withdrawal, and I'll admit that I can be affected by it too, especially if it lasts for very long. But if I keep in mind what I said above, about this being "about Her", I will calm down and realize that She needs time for personal things too, and it doesn't help to keep badgering Her. Don't keep bugging Her about it, just leave it alone... She'll be back.

Lastly, I try always to treat Her with respect. There have been instances in the chatroom where people try to be clever and funny, and say things to Princess that you don't say to ANY woman, let alone a Mistress that you are trying to impress. What are they thinking? That this is gonna endear Her to them? Be clever, be funny, but above all, be respectful. Making Her not like you is not the best way to impress Her.

I don't claim to be the best pet around, or even an especially good one, but I know that I have enjoyed almost 2 years of this special relationship with Princess Grace, so maybe I'm doing a few things right. At least it works for me. I'm not bragging, but if you want to know why Princess is not giving you the attention that you're seeking, look at yourself in the mirror first.

With that, I'm gonna close out this post, and since tonight is Thursday, I'll see a lot of you at Tease Time tonight.

Princess, as always, Your bitchas wuvs You! See You tonight!

little bitchass

Well Let's See... Where Do I Start?

Before I start my report on last night's Tease Time chat, I wanted to tell you that I actually had a pretty good reason this time for not updating my blog in the past week. I live down here on the Gulf Coast of Texas, and for the past couple of weeks, the afternoon temperatures have been hanging in the mid to upper 90s, and since I'm close to the Gulf of Mexico, the humidity here will just beat the living crap out of you. I have been able to live with that in the past, as long as I could come inside and soak up some air conditioning when I needed it.

This is where the problems of the last week come in...

I had been noticing that my AC blower was starting to run more and more constantly, and it just wasn't keeping the place as cool as it should. Then, by last weekend, the blower would just never shut off. So, since I was not born into the Rockefeller family, I tried to diagnose and fix the fan problem on my own. I was spending a lot of time up in the attic in the evenings after work, and if you've ever been in a Houston attic in the summertime, you'll know how much fun that is. One thing it's good for is losing weight, but to be honest, the misery is just not worth it.

The good news is that I figured out what part was broken, but the bad news is that after looking at what was gonna be required to replace it, I decided to call in the experts. I am now the proud owner of a new furnace/AC unit, and quite a bit lighter in the purse. So besides being exhaused from sweating my ass off in the attic, committing to pay out 4 grand didn't leave me in much of a mood to write anything funny.

Explanation and rant over...

A couple of nights of cool air works wonders on your ambition level, and so I thought I'd write a little about the latest Tease Time. As you may or may not know, the Stroke Princess did not make last week's Tease Time because of some nasty computer gremlins. She made it in last night though, much to the delight of a roomful of needy-wanty chatters.

Princess filled us all in on a toy She is considering as Her new favorite. Before you get excited and fall over and die because you think She is abandoning the Aneros, breathe easier. The new toy is another type of Aneros, called the Aneros Progasm, and it's bigger and looks more like a cock than the original Aneros. I think Her next step will be to find some "volunteers" to try the thing out for Her.

Speaking of volunteers, I seem to have a lot of people who are trying to help me out by reminding Princess that I am presently not locked up, and they seem to think that it would be much better for me if I was. To my ever so helpful friends, I have one thing to say to you... STOP FUCKING HELPING ME! Princess took notice and mentioned that since I've been unlocked and cumming 3 times a week for a while now, that it might just be time to get back into the cage.

She also informed the chatrom that She is taking dance lessons. From what I gather, She's going to learn pole dancing, lap dancing, and strip dancing. It's just one more way for Her to drive us all nuts and send us to Wantland.

Bankyboo was in the room, and Princess Grace revealed plans to have him call one of the newer LDW Ladies, Empress Jill, and have him try to convince her that he is a real manly man. So far, his track record with convincing other Mistresses has not been so good, so we'll just have to wait and see how this goes. I hope Empress Jill has a good sense of humor.

Someone started talking in GeekSpeak, and Princess started getting hugely turned on by this. As you know, Princess adores geeks, and it's well known that She gets all hot and bothered by geeks and comic books, and has been known to cum spontaneously at the mention of Battlestar Gallactica. I tried getting her to cum by chanting BSG BSG BSG BSG, and I think it got Her really close, but I wasn't able to hear the telltale hiccup to confirm it.

Princess ended up the evening by teasing everyone with hot descriptions of Catwoman and Wonder Woman. I was OK until She started talking about licking in between the ass cheeks of Catwoman's leather outfit, after she got them all sweaty from climbing all over the place and whipping Batman into submission. I'l admit that I was wishing that Thursday nights were my cumming nights, but they aren't, and so I stayed frustrated.

The Stroke Princess was having so much fun teasing us to distraction, that She ended up distracting Herself and letting Tease Time run 15 minutes longer than the usual hour.

One last point, after Princess left the chat, I noticed that I seemed to have a lot of people asking me questions about cock cages and buttplugs. What's up with that? How am I supposed to know? Does everybody think I'm an expert on these things? Well OK, maybe I know a couple of things.... but geesh...

That's it for today, everybody, I'll see you all next time.

Princess Grace, as always, I'm so damn happy to be Yours and Your bitchass wuvs You to death!

little bitchass

Oh, there was one other thing I meant to mention... Princess told us in chat that She's getting a yummy new pair of boots, but I'll just let Her tell you all about those when She's ready.

Somebody Write Something! I'm The Only One Who's Allowed To Slack Off Around Here!

Well, OK, except for the Stroke Princess... Princess is allowed to procrastinate as long as She wants. The only person who's writing these days is Miss Tara, who's resistance has finally been hammered down to the point where She came down with a nasty BSG infection. Next thing we know, billyBear will talk Her into going for a ride in his Transmorgifier.

I think the last post I saw was from Bankyboo, and that was at least 5 days ago. But I think I know why nobody has been posting for the past 5 days. You're all waiting breathlessly for my Tease Time Report, right?

See? I KNEW it!

Well it's been my intention to write a Tease Time Report ever since Friday, but writing it at my job like I usually do has been impossible and my weekend was taken up because the neighborhood nazi association has been on my ass to do some work out in my front yard. It's been hotter than a mouthfull of habaneros around here and so humid that you need to wear a scuba tank just to breathe. So working outside all weekend has left my little bitchass dragging. I just don't feel like doing anything that involves moving. Last night after I got home from work and did my walkies for Princess, I turned my computer on and then went and laid on the couch for the rest of the night. Even though I'm allowed to cum once each night that I walk, I couldn't even get my ass off of the couch to do it. Don't ya feel sorry for me? A little???

I've got a chance today, so I'm writing this during the tail end of my lunch hour at work, but I just found out that I left my Tease Time notes sitting on my computer desk at home.

Super... now I can't remember shit about what we did during Tease Time last Thursday.

OK, I do remember Princess Grace being there. And there were also a lot of needywanty chatters there. I know, that part was easy, but give me a break. At least I'm trying.

During the chat, I was on the lookout for the miniHulk and the Green Princess, but neither one showed up in the chatroom. I still think there is a vague resemblance between Princess Grace and the Green Princess, and even though I still haven't seen them both in the same place at the same time, I couldn't be positive and so I didn't mention anything about it in the chatroom.

Princess has been doing really well on Her fitness program, and from what She said, She has a DVD by the female trainer from Hell on "The Biggest Loser" who is kicking Her butt all over the living room floor. But Princess won't back down from a challenge, and so She has hung in there, even though every muscle in Her yummy body is sore.

She did say that She gave Her sore muscles a break one day and did yoga instead. Yoga sounds interesting to me, and I was very interested in learning some of the positions that Princess talked about. She suggested "The Cobra" for me, which sounds really cool! I was wondering if there is a pose called "The Mantis" which would prolly be perfect for me. I might need some vict... errrr... volunteers who would help me out by getting into the supporting position called "The Juicy Neck".

OK, I'm out of time and have to go back to work, so here's what I'm gonna do... I'll post this so I can at least keep Lucky from being forced to go over to the Walmart, and keep Pantysue from having to endure another night of lapdancing. OK, I realize that keeping Pantysue away from lapdancers is harder than getting Vaseline out of your hair, but at least maybe I can save Lucky from those filthy bathrooms. So when I get home from work today, IF I have time, and IF I have the energy, I'll read through my Tease Time notes and add anything that I think you all might be interested in reading about, and then I'll republish this. I'll try it this way for this week anyway, so we'll see how it works out. Actually, it may work out well because you'll have to visit my blog twice, since I AM going for the 20,000 readers milestone.

In the event I don't get to it tonight, oh well... sorry about that... but I'll give it my best shot.

OK, I've gotta go... see you all soon... and Princess, as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

P.S. Ace! Get your ass back here!


Note from next day... I know you're not gonna believe me, but I looked all over my computer desk at home last night for my Tease Time notes, and they were not where I thought they were. I looked through everything on my desk here at work today and can't find them here either. I hope they didn't end up in some catalog where they'll fall out when the next person opens it.

Either way, there won't be any additional Tease Time nuggets added to this post. You'll just have to wait for next week's report. I'm sooooooo sorry....

I'm Down And Just In Time For Tonight's Chat...

I'm happy to report that I'm now back on the ground and doing fine after an extended visit to the ladies room. Thanks go out to Miss Tara, Lucky, and Giantess Gretchen for organizing and carrying out a very dangerous rescue maneuver. I have to say that Giantess Gretchen's punt of Lucky's blimp afterwards was really impressive! I only found out later that it eventually came down over in Lake Mead.

In case anybody is looking for me, I'll be busy for the next week or two squeezing out a tanker truck full of pineapple juice, as well as arranging delivery of some Godiva Chocolates for Miss Tara and some hot boot videos for Lucky.

And BTW, I want to clear up one thing. The reports that I had become huge were totally innacurate. I am still the same size as I was before. The camera angle just made it appear that I had grown to the size of Big Tex.

I'm also planning on attending the Stroke Princess' Tease Time chat tonight, and I will be looking forward to giving lots of dirty looks to all of my "friends" who left me stranded up on that tower for all that time. I thought I might get a lift down from PantyKong, but she kept getting distracted by the lap dancers and the last I saw of her, she was humping that Eifel Tower thingy with her cage. Strangely enough, Princess Grace has kept a conspicuous silence through all of this.

As for those responsible for putting me up there in the first place and nearly ruining my precious flower car in the process, my lawyers will be talking to you as soon as they can find you. It seems that sightings of the Incredible Dork and the Green Princess have completely stopped, as if the two of them have totally fallen off the face of the earth. If my lawyers can't find them, I'll have to bring in the big guns by hiring my friend Friday to do the job. I suppose she'll have to bring that incompetent boss of hers along. She signed some kind of an employment agreement with him that obligates her to let other people think that Tracer is actually the brains of the outfit. Well, all I can say is that without her, Tracer's PI business would go down the shithole along with all those bean burritos.

Well, it's Thursday and I hope that Ms Grace makes it to Tease Time tonight. Maybe the Green Princess will show up in Her place instead. I'm not sure of the connection between the two, but there's a certain resemblance there besides the green color, and She and the Green Princess have never been seen at the same location at the same time. I'm beginning to suspect that there may be some connection between the two. But that could'nt be, could it? Princess Grace could never leave Her little bitchass sitting up on top of a tower for all that time... could She??? OK, I know She left me in that pink plastic cage a few times for a lot longer than that, but still......

Well, I expect all of you at Tease Time tonight at 10 Eastern in the Kink Chatroom. We'll see who shows up, whether it's the Stroke Princess or the Green Princess. Only time will tell.

See y'all there!

little bitchass

Tease Time and I Was Wrong.. It IS As Dire As I Thought...

Last night's Tease Time started out like most others. The Stroke Princess arrived and everyone else in the room instantly got needy and wanty... including me... Of course, I had good reason to be... I don't do my walkies on Thursday, so I had not cum in over a day! I don't know what anybody else was needy and wanty about.

Talking about my walkies is a good lead-in to my next topic, which is, as usual, MsGrace. Princess has embarked on a workout program, and claims it's making Her feel really good. That's great news! When Princess feels good, the rest of us feel good. When Princess doesn't feel good, She occupies Her time by looking at Her massive keyring full of keys, and starts thinking about who's locked up and who's not. That's when She usually looks in Pantysue's direction.

Princess is also replacing all of Her food and drinks with bottled water. Now, I know from being on Princess' water program, that drinking a lot of water means a lot of extra trips to the bathroom, and She only has me drinking 5 glasses a day. With as much water that Princess says She's drinking, She must practically live in Her bathroom. Wonder if She has been taking Her calls from in there? I'll have to listen carefully on my next call and see if I can hear that rich reverb that makes everybody sound so good when they sing in the shower.

One mystery that I have to try and figure out was why Princess is acquiring a collection of umbrellas from Banky. Either She is expecting one heck of a lot of rain, or there is a new umbrella perversion starting up that I've never heard about. I'll have to ask Lucky about this because he knows a lot about obscure sexual perversions.

This brings us around to the reason for the title to this post. In my last post, I said I was having an attack of conscience about the way I had been treating the Incredible Half-pint. Well, I was wrong. BillyHulk came into the chatroom late, and proceeded to threaten and terrorize everyone. Well, at least he threatened me plenty of times last night. He might be tiny, but there's just no excuse for picking people up, throwing them around, and generally acting like an asshat, so I'm not gonna feel sorry for that diminutive dork anymore. Funny though, I noticed that he didn't try to pick up Princess and throw Her. I wonder why that was?

There was another chatter in the room last night who was fairly close to the same size as Shrinking Violet, and so billyHulk naturally gravitated over to our multi-legged friend, Tonydshrimp. Shrimpy is normally very mildmannered and polite, but billyHulk is obviously a bad influence on him. Maybe once billyHulk shrinks enough so that he's smaller than Shrimpy, then he won't hold as much sway over the Noble Shrimp.

As it was, billyHulk coerced Shrimpy to start climbing up Princess like She was Mount Grace or something. At one point, Little Green sunk a piton into my leg, so he could get a headstart on Shrimpy with his climb. Have you ever had somebody jab a sharp steel piton deep into your thigh? Well, let me tell you it hurts! And you wonder why I'm not feeling so compassionate after last night?

Well, the climb continued, with both the tiny crustacean and the language challenged mutant exploring the various hills and caves that they encountered along the way. Of course, Princess turned the climb into one of Her patented teases and before long everyone else in the room started to climb onto Her too. This got Princess a bit irritated, and so She cranked Her sex swing up close to the ceiling and only the two teenie-weenies were allowed to hang on. Eventually though, I think Princess started to get annoyed by the constant threats and mouthing off by billyHulk, and when an opportunity presented itself, Princess acted on it.

That opportunity arrived in the form of a new blogger, Betty Ross. For some unexplained reason, Betty has some kind of a warped attraction to billyHulk, and wants to hug and kiss him a lot.

Eeeeiiiiuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Anyway, as soon as Betty got inside the door, Princess grabbed the little green turd by the ear and tossed him right at Betty. Betty made a very impressive backhanded stab and snagged billyHulk on the first bounce. Little hulkiewulkie is pretty much socially challenged, so instead of complimenting Betty on her nice catch, he instead reacted to her gesture by trying to stick one of his pitons into her forehead.

While all this was going on, Princess horrified Shrimpy by informing him that She had eaten a bunch of his brothers and sisters earlier that day for lunch. Even though he was stunned by Her revelation, I noticed that he didn't try to get down from his perch on top of one of Her Twin Peaks. I guess Shrimpy must have lots of unnecessary relatives. and can spare a few here and there.

And on that note, that's my report on this week's Tease Time. Be sure to visit next week's Tease Time with the Stroke Princess next Thursday night in the Kink Chatroom at 10 Eastern.

And as always Princess, Your bitchass wuvs You! Oh! Guess what???

little bitchass

Neener Neener Neener... Bet You Never Expected This...

Let's get right into it, shall we?

Last night was Thursday night, a scant one day after the momentous and long anticipated unveiling of my review of last week's Tease Time. I felt so bad about depriving my long suffering readers, and pledged to myself that I would get future reviews out in a more timely manner. Actually, that's not going all that far out on a limb, because making pledges in blogspace does not necessarily mean that you're gonna do what you pledge to do when it all comes down to it.

I was almost late getting into the Kink Chatroom, and even though I made it with a minute to spare, the Stroke Princess was already teasing the room before I could even make Her dizzy with my trademark "Princess Twirl".

Princess revealed early in the session that She had gotten Her nails painted purple, with a silver lines, which to those in the know, is an indication of Her Vampiratrix status. The silver line has some kind of signifigance, but I forget what it was, except that it looks really cool under the light of the full moon.

Someone in the room must have cut themselves shaving, because MsVampiraGrace seemed to pick up the scent of blood, and worked Herself and everybody else into a frenzy with a teasing play-by-play description of Her method of attack. By the time She got around to sinking Her fangs into anybody's thigh, nobody in the room was making much of an effort to get away.

Once the bandaids were passed out and the stray drops of blood mopped up, it was noted that Lucky is still intoxicated by the visitor map in Princess' blog. BillyBear suggested that Princess make a Map MP3 for Lucky at Her earliest convenience. I think Princess liked the idea, because that way She could embed some secret tracking software into the MP3 and track Lucky whenever he got the urge to hang out in the mens bathroom at the Walmart.

The topic got around to Ms Grace's favorite toy, the Aneros. I could not believe it, but there was a chatter in the room who went by the name of Robert, who apparently has been living under a rock. After going to countless Tease Times, he was somehow still unaware of what an Aneros was. For the rest of the time he was there, Robert made a relentless effort to get a free personal tease out of Princess centered around how he was gonna stroke with Her Aneros lodged firmly in his love tunnel.

We started to talk about Princess' new fitness walking routine. It turns out that Princess and I are going to be doing our walkies together. OK, maybe not together, since we live pretty far apart, but at least we will be doing our walking on the same nights. I was pretty excited that Princess and I would both be cumming three times a week, and maybe at pretty much the same time. That thought didn't last long, because She quickly pointed out that She was gonna cum whenever She felt like it, and it was more likely that it would be a bit more frequent than three times a week. As a matter of fact, She pointed out that She had already cum three times that day.

Super!

BillyInstigator picked up on the walkies topic, and helped me out by trying to convince Princess that I should do my walkies not only with an Aneros shoved up my ass, but also wearing the Ballet Boots From Hell. Is it any wonder that I am suing the Occasional Assassin scandal rag, and it's Liar-In-Chief, BillyBear? Anyway, MsGrace saw right through his scheme and recognized it for what it really was, which was a desperate cry for help. She realized that BillyBear was feeling left out and that he wanted nothing more than to get his own pair of ballet boots and start a walkies program in them.

The only thing BillyBear might want more than that is to have Butter Crisco and popping corn stuffed up his ass so he can make buttered popcorn for everybody the next time Princess shoves Her hot curling iron up there.

The evening's activities concluded with Princess describing her Tiara collection to the chatters. She has one of almost every color and style ever made, and rents a vault over at Ft Knox that she keeps them in.

A little known Princess fact came to light when Ms Grace revealed that She used to have a real halo, but that it slipped down and now She wears it as an ankle bracelet. I swear to God that's true! Ask Her if you don't believe me!

Pantyspike was a no-show last night, which was a huge letdown, because she had been slated to do a self-piercing demonstration using her sainted Grandpa's legendary railroad spike. Well, maybe next week...

The failure of Canadian Guy to appear at Tease Time again was a huge disappointment to me. I was hoping that he would start attending the chats more regularly, because he provides a Canadian counterpoint to Shrimpington Q Shrimp's crustacean humor. The only reason I can see for CGs absence was that last week, Pantyhose and him were hitting it off pretty good in chat, and they may have been spending some quality time together last night. I've heard that Canadian Guy is a pretty good nut kicker.

All too soon, the hour was up, and the Stroke Princess was saying Her goodbyes to everyone in the room, and getting ready to leave so she could torture poor Tease into buying her that new BMW. It's amazing how quickly one hour flies past when You're enjoying some time with the Stroke Princess.

Princess, thank You for another wonderful Tease Time, and as always, Your bitchass wuvs You!

See you all next time!

little bitchass

Thought I Should Phone In Another Tease Time Review For Lucky...

::RINGGG....... RINGGG......::

You have reached Blogger... Please listen carefully as our menu has changed...

If you wish to continue in English, please press 1...

"1"

If you wish to post a new blog entry, please press 1... If you wish to comment in someone else's blog, please press 2... If you wish to leave a dirty comment in the Stroke Princess' blog, please press 3...

"1"

Please type in your Username, followed by the pound sign...

""littlebitchass #"

Please type in your password, followed by the pound sign...

"12345 #"

::click::

dialtone.................................................................

"SHIT!"

::RINGGG...... RINGGG......::

You have reached Blogger... Please listen carefully, as our menu has changed...

If you wiish to continue in English, please press 1...

"1"

If you wish to post a new blog entry, please press 1... If you wish to comment in someone else's blog, please press 2... If you wish to leave a dirty comment in the Stroke Princess' blog, please press 3...

"1"

If this is littlebitchass again, please hang up...

"What the...???"

You heard what we said... if this is littlebitchass again, please hang up...

"Hey! You bastards can't talk to me like...."

::click::

dialtone.................................................................

""Fuckers..."

OK, I'm not gonna be able to call in a review of last week's Tease Time with Ms Grace, so I guess I'll actually have to type this. Calling them in is much easier for a lazy bum like me, especially since I haven't had time to sit down and write one so far this week. But since I don't want to let Princess or Lucky down, I'll try to touch on what I remember of the chat that night. (I would say I don't want to let BillyBear down too, but I can't because my slander lawsuit against his blog is pending, and my lawyers have advised against mentioning his name)

We had a nice little gathering of chatters in the Kink Chatroom that night, but by now, I forget almost everything about how many were there, who was there, or what was said. I do remember a few things about that night's chat, but I'm afraid this post is gonna be a little thin.

This much I can tell you. Princess Grace was there. So it was good! That's all you need to know. She had not made any new MP3s that day, because She had been way too busy making all of Her Princessy appearances for Her subjects, and taking care of all the other things that Princesses normally take care of.

As much as I like hearing the new MP3s, if Princess does not have new MP3s for Tease Time, I have just as much fun. It just means more chatting time with Her.

It was nice to see our old friend Canadian Guy make the trek all the way down from his igloo on the Frozen Tundra to attend Princess' chat. I had forgotten how much this guy makes me laugh. I wish I could remember some of his jokes from that night, because he really comes up with some funny shit! I'm hoping that the ice floes will stay melted until fall, and he will be around to come in every week and bring his penguins with him. Oh, and he always has lots of beer with him too. He's very easy to distract and we can steal his beer if we work things right.

At one point, BillyBear made a challenge to Princess that he was a better tonguer than She was. Silly bear! Princess picked up that gauntlet, bitchslapped him with it, and proceeded to prove to him who was the Tease there and who wasn't. I was getting pretty worked up listening to Her side of it as she worked him over, but I was almost throwing up in my mouth a little whenever I thought of his blue, bear tongue inside Her lovely mouth. Thankfully, She proved him wrong well before I had to run and get a bucket.

The low point of the night was the appearance of a repeater who went by the name of Pantyhose. At least that's what he called himself on Thursday. No matter what name he comes in under, he always does the same routine every time he comes in. He pays no attention to where Princess Grace is going with Her chat, and instead, tries to force his boring and repetitive agenda onto everyone. Yes, we know you wax your legs and your sister kicked you in the nuts. I suppose he thinks everybody is as stupid as he is and doesn't see through him. I wish his sister would finally kick him in the nuts so hard that he won't have to ask people to castrate him anymore.

Well, that's all for today. I have to leave soon so I can do my walkies for the Stroke Princess when I get home, which also means that I will be able to cum tonight.

Sorry for the abbreviated version. Hopefully, things will be a lot less busy this week and I'll be able to get the next Tease Time Review in by the deadline.

See you all next time! And as always, Princess, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

This Just In! Blogging vs. Sleep! Sleep Wins!

I had every intention of writing a full report of what happened at Thursday night's Tease Time with the Stroke Princess on Saturday, even though it was gonna be a few days late. Unfortunately, my accumulated lack of sleep chose this weekend to catch up with me. I badly overslept on Saturday morning, which meant that I had to cram a lot of RealWorld tasks into the afternoon and evening. After I ate dinner, I fell asleep again on the couch, and when I woke up sometime during the night, I set my alarm for early Sunday, figuring I'd write the blog over coffee.

Guess what???

When the alarm went off, I evidently slammed the snooze button too hard and the alarm never made a sound after that. I woke up around lunchtime and still had a full days tasks ahead of me. Needless to say, no blogging got done on Sunday either.

So, I'll just give you a quick recap of the big news and send you over to The Occasional Assassin for their version of what happened.

Big news was that Princess Grace not only made a new MP3 to tease us with, She made FIVE of them! I'll link them for you so that you can enjoy them RIGHT NOW!

http://www.princessgracesplayground.com/acheforPrincessGrace.mpg

http://www.princessgracesplayground.com/Neverthoughtyouwould.mp3

http://www.princessgracesplayground.com/Mysissybaby.mp3

http://www.princessgracesplayground.com/bondagesissy.mp3

http://www.princessgracesplayground.com/strokerboyshow.mp3

I'm running out of time on my lunchbreak, so instead of me telling you what they are all about, how about if you listen for yourself? I'll tell you this, and this will come as a big shock to most of you, but my favorite was the bondage sissy MP3. Go figure!

There's one last point I want to make about Thursday's Tease Time. There comes a time when teasing a Mistress goes over the line and becomes disrespectful, even if the person doing the teasing might not have meant it that way. There are certain areas that are off-limits to ANY woman, and even more so to MsGrace, who deserves so much better. I would advise thinking a little more before you say something that you might regret later.

That said, it's time for me to go back to work, so go read Princess Grace's blog, go read The Assassin, and I'll see you all at the next blog entry!

As always, Princess, Your bitchass wuvs You!

little bitchass

I Have Homework To Do Because Princess Cares...

I was doing a few things while online late Friday night, and no, it wasn't what you think it was, when all of a sudden my IM window lit up. My spirit took a jump when I saw that it was from none other than the Stroke Princess, the Mindfucktress extraordinaire, the Cockteasingest Princess of Denial, Ms Grace.

Seems that Princess was taking a break between calls and when She saw I was online, She gave me a shout to see how I was doing, since I was not in Her cage anymore and She wanted to make sure that I was still following Her instructions and not cumming until She said I could. I was crushed to think that She might not trust that I hadn't cheated until I realized that She was just mindfucking me by talking about it, knowing that it wouldn't take long before I started to squirm.

We also chatted about what has been going on in each others lives since we had our last phonecall, and during the conversation, I made an offhanded remark about sometimes having high blood pressure. Since Ms Grace has become such a close friend, She jumped all over what I said and because She was concerned, started asking questions to make sure that I was OK. She asked me more probing questions than my doctor ever has. I think I was able to convince Her that I was not dying, but while we chatted, She began hatching out a plan for my next homework.

She calls it my "Heart Healthy Homework".

Task 1, beginning tonight after work, I have to come home, change my clothes, and walk for 30 minutes. I have to do this 3 nights a week. This didn't sound all that bad at all until She added the little condition that I had to wear a bra when I walked. Now, this is Texas, so when you walk for even 30 seconds, you are gonna sweat, and so I'm thinking that by the end of my walk, I might as well be wearing the bra on the outside of my shirt. Well, at least She didn't tell me I had to wear short shorts with pantyhose.

Task 2, I have to cut back on my smoking. This one is easy, since I quit totally about a year ago... giggles...

Task 3, I have to start drinking more water. To start with, She wants me drinking 5 glasses a day, and She will up that later on as the weather gets hotter. Now I don't drink a lot of beer, but I do drink a lot of soda, and it's not gonna be easy for me to give up that rush of sugar and caffeine. 5 or more glasses a day and I may need a Depends while I do my 30 Minute Walk.

Task 4, the last for now, may be the hardest task of all. I'm supposed to start "Eating Right". UGHHHHH! I like cheesecake and donuts too much to breeze through this one. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it through this, but I'm willing to give it my best shot for Princess. When I told Her I thought I might have trouble staying with this program, She giggled (what else?) and said...

"Would you like to ever cum again, honey?"

I guess I'll be eating right after all.

That inspired Her to give me an incentive for the nights that I might not feel like walking. She told me that for each night I do the 30 Minute Walk, I am allowed to cum one time after I get back home. Notice that She at least said "after I get back home"... She knows I'm no pervert like Lucky is, so She's not making me do it in a public restroom.

With that, She had to leave and She left me with another homework assignment. Believe it or not, the Stroke Princess of Denial told me that I could cum 3 times on Saturday, and then I was to start the "Heart Healthy Homework" on Monday. But before that, to kick the program off, I was instructed to go out on Saturday, which was the Anniversary of Her 29th Birthday, and celebrate with Her by getting myself a big yummy piece of cheesecake!

I know that this homework may not sound as exciting to you as some She's made me and others do in the past, but I mentioned it just to show you that Princess is concerned enough about a pet's health to exert Her control into other areas besides just sexual ones.

Princess, thank You for watching out for me, and guess what???

See y'all next time...

little bitchass