Bloggin' With Bitchass

OMG! Girl Friday here.... I know I shouldn't do this, but it's too funny to keep to myself! I've just got to share this IM I just got from my gal pal, little bitchass. I know she's probably going to get a little irritated with me, but if she gets too upset, I'll just go hide in Tracer's wanking room until the heat dies down. Here's the IM....

LB: You there?
GF: Yep, bitchass, I'm here.... working late... what's up?
LB: Oh gawd, I am soooo embarrassed and I don't know what to do!
LB: I don't know if I'll ever be able to show my face around the WOT chatroom again...
GF: Why? What the holy hell happened? It can't be all THAT bad...
LB: Geez Friday, I don't want this to ever get out, but I've gotta talk to somebody about it!
LB: I don't know if you remember him or not, but there's this guy I hang out with...
LB: Went by the name of billy... wierd dude!
LB: Well, he built this Transdorkimizer machine, or something like that anyway,
LB: He had this crazy idea to turn himself into a big fierce bear...
LB: Probably so Miss Tara would stop picking on him in the chatroom...
LB: So the dumbass changed his name to BillyBear, and climbed into the machine..
LB: Well, his stupid machine fucked up... blew a gasket or something..
LB: And now he's this chubby little CareBear looking thing!
GF: WTF!
LB: Tell me about it! When I first saw him, I couldn't help it! I laughed my ass off!
LB: He got all pissed off and stuff!
LB: Started gnawing on my knees since thats as high as he could reach!
GF: You've gotta be kidding me! lol
LB: Well, you if anybody should know about painful knees, so don't laugh too hard...
LB: Anyway, BillyBear called me and asked me to meet him a couple of nights ago..
LB: Told me it was some big secret, (scroll down through comments for super secret details)
LB: I had to have the code name JJ, and he'd be BB...
LB: He said we needed secret code names so MsGrace wouldn't know who we were..
GF: What a fucking idiot!
LB: So we met in the parking garage over at the LDW Building...
GF: Who does he think he is? Tracer? LMAO!
LB: Of course not! But he had a scheme that he wanted to clue me in on...
GF: A scheme? What kind of scheme?
LB: Well, before he became a real CareBear, he had this CareBear suit..
LB: And he would wear it, and sneak into MsGrace's bedroom when she was away...
LB: See, he knew MsGrace liked to snuggle with her CareBear before going to sleep...
LB: So, he'd toss her bear under the bed and lie quietly in his bear suit and wait...
LB: Then, when MsGrace went to bed, she would snuggle with him...
LB: I know he's an idiot, but even idiots have good ideas sometimes...
GF: Well what does that have to do with you? Why are you embarrassed?
LB: I'm getting to that!
LB: Remember the secret meeting I mentioned?
GF: Yes?
LB: Well, since he didn't need the bear suit anymore, he gave it to me..
LB: And told me to try the snuggle scam with MsGrace...
LB: So, I figured why not? I sure wouldn't turn down a snuggle with her!
GF: Bitchass..... for Gods sakes! MsGrace likes you even without a bear suit on...
LB: Yeah, but she doesn't snuggle with me, so I figured this would help...
LB: Anyway, I knew MsGrace had gone out with her friend Miss Tara..
LB: And while they were out doing God knows what, I headed over to her place...
LB: I got the doorman to let me in, told him I was her maid and had to clean up...
LB: So when I was inside, I put the suit on, and it was NOT easy!
LB: The suit is already padded, and I had a hard time cramming my boobs into it..
LB: Finally got the zipper up, and went into the bedroom...
LB: I saw her bear lying there, so I took him and put him in the closet...
LB: Then I got into bed and waited...
GF: I have a bad feeling about this, bitchass... what were you thinking?
LB: Look, I was all needywanty, and not exactly thinking straight, OK???
LB: So, anyway, after a long wait, I heard MsGrace come in the front door...
LB: Knew it was her, even though I couldn't look, because she was giggling a lot...
LB: So I figured that her and Miss Tara must've gotten into the jello shots again...
GF: Oh geeez... not jello shots!
LB: So she went into the bathroom, showered, and changed into her nighty...
LB: She came out and got into bed, and right away she snuggles up to me...
LB: Pulled me close to her and held me tight...
LB: It was NOT easy trying to lie still and be quiet,
LB: especially when she started murmuring in my ear...
LB: I had to bite down on the pillow to keep from whimpering too loud!
GF: Ummmm.. can you excuse me for a moment? Have to make a call....
LB: Well, eventually she fell asleep, still holding me tight against her...
LB: And then I must've dropped off to sleep myself..
LB: I had the strangest dream, where Princess started nuzzling me...
LB: and licking my face...
LB: I must've rolled onto my tummy, because then I felt her climb on my back...
LB: Hugging me and making these strange noises, and I lost it and started moaning...
LB: Then I started to wake up, and I got all confused...
LB: Because Princess was standing over by her nightstand, giggling like hell!
LB: What's she doing over there?
LB: And why did I still feel like she was hugging me from behind?
LB: That's when I snapped wide awake...
LB: What the hell is going on? What is this on my ba...................
LB: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
LB: BillyBear never told me MsGrace had a dog who loved humping bears!
GF: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
LB: I looked at MsGrace and she was smiling and saying, "Don't worry sweetie"...
LB: "She's a female... "
LB: But then I noticed that Ms Grace was holding something in her hand....
LB: Friday! It was a little doggie strap-on!
GF: ROTFLMAO!!!!!
OK, I was laughing so hard at that point, I couldn't read any more, so I just hit the reset on the computer. I'm hoping little bitchass will just think that we had a disconnection. I wonder if she's still wearing the bear suit?

If you need me, I'll probably be in Tracer's wank closet for a few days.

Girl Friday