Bloggin' With Bitchass

OK, I Have Another One For Those Who've Been Locked Down... "In Or Out?"

I was writing a comment to a post in chaste4MsCass's blog earlier today, and while I was thinking how I was gonna word it, it gave me an idea for a new topic in my own blog. But first a little background...

Obviously, chaste is a chastity slave of Ms Cassandra's, and to be honest, I don't recall if he is being shared with Ms Sarah or not. The main topic of his post was that he was gonna be let out of the cage for some amount of time, and he was given some options. Chaste chose NOT to cum, and also chose not to be out of the cage for very long as well. He was a little concerned that people might not understand the reasons for his decision. To read chaste's original post, go here.

I understand his concerns, because I have some of the same concerns myself. I've been in two fairly extended lockdowns with The Stroke Princess, and each time Ms Grace and I are on a call and She's deciding what to do, She asks me flat out if I want to get out of the cage or if I want to stay locked up. This puts me in a quandary, because even though I may have been climbing the walls in desperation for weeks, wanting out of the cage in the worst way, when confronted with Her question, I'm not able to answer without going through a goddamn internal battle with myself.

She also has little variations to Her questions... like asking me if I think I'd rather cum once and then lock right back up, or if I'd like to just stroke a little and then lock back up without cumming. Or maybe have a ruined orgasm and then lock right back up. Again, these sound like easily answered questions, but after you have been locked up for awhile, being allowed to cum even once makes it more frustrating in the first week or two after getting locked back up. I think it's because you remember how good that one orgasm just felt and you want and want and want to feel it again. The jury is still out as far as I'm concerned on whether a ruined orgasm is worse than a full orgasm, because when it's ruined, you don't get the relief that a full orgasm provides.

The same battle goes on when She has had me out of the cage for a while. Even when I'm free of the cage, She does not let me cum at will. She maintains control and only lets me release when She tells me I can. After a week or two, I am badly missing the feeling of being in Her cage, and Princess knows it. The cage, even though it's inconvenient as hell most times, is a kind of security blanket for me, and I feel a definite void when I don't feel it between my legs. When Princess asks me if I want back in or not, I have another battle. I have one part of me telling me not to give in (remembering all the inconveniences and discomforts), while another part wants nothing more than to please Her and have that symbol of Her control locked onto me again.

And so what I think it all boils down to is a struggle between my primal side... the side that needs to feel the pleasure, and my subbie side, that wants to give my chastity to Princess Grace. As you can guess, my subbie side always wins this battle and I find myself begging Princess to please lock me back up. Is it crazy? To others it may seem to be, but I think I'm beginning to understand it a little better now, and I don't think it is.

OK.... now... let's get back to the original reason for my post today. I've just given you a glimpse of what I feel when asked point blank, "In or out?" I have a feeling that chaste feels similar internal battles going on. Maybe his thoughts are slightly different than mine, but it looks to me like he's been thinking hard about them.

So...... what I'm hoping by posting this is that some other chastised folks out there might weigh in on what they are feeling when asked the big question, "In or Out?" I'd like to see if these internal battles are happening with anybody else besides me. I'm not sure how many responses I'll get because I don't have a readership that includes large numbers of chastity boys and gurls, but we'll see....

Oh, did I tell you yet today that I wuvved my Stroke Princess? Well I do...

little bitchass