Bloggin' With Bitchass

Well, here I am... in the desert... following an insane blue prophet to my probable doom.

I'm not totally convinced that billyprophet actually had that vision of Princess Grace, where She "allegedly" told him to take Her pets into the desert. But I'm not taking any chances though, just in the off chance that She may really have appeared to him. So, not wanting to be smote or denied for eternity, I thought I'd better tag along, just to be safe. Besides that, Princess left him a pretty clear message in lucky's blog that he was to be careful, and bring us all back in one piece or it wasn't gonna be pretty for him. I think She posted the comment in lucky's blog because that way billyprophet couldn't delete it, and us pets would all be able to see it. Wise move, Princess!

Safe? Hah! Before we even got to the desert, I fell for another of the prophet's false promises. That of a new sunscreen that would protect my flawless and tender skin from the desert sun's intense rays. Turns out that the sunscreen doesn't work worth a shit, and instead, acts as a UV intensifier.

So after an hour of trudging through the desert, I was suffering through the worst case of sunburn you can imagine. By the end of the day, the only visions I was having were of a bathtub full of aloe vera and some heavy duty painkillers.

Billyprophet claimed to have another minor vision while we walked, and said a way to ease the pain of my sunburn was revealed to him. Half crazed by the pain, I decided "What the holy hell", and decided to go along with what he said. Stupid move on my part. Next thing I know, he's rubbing handfulls of hot sand all over me. I was able to overcome the pain of moving long enough to kick him in the balls until he stopped.

And if billyprophet insists on trying to be funny by sneaking over while we walk and patting me on my back again, the only vision he's gonna have is a quick look at my fist right before it slams into his eye.

I was almost ready to give up and ask pantysue for a ride back to town in her limo, when lucky, who lives up to his name, found a giant aloe plant, and banky and him were nice enough to cut the plant up and collect me a bucket full of gel, since I wasn't able to move enough without screaming in pain every few seconds.

The giant aloe must've been another one of the mystical plants that are scattered around out here, because after slathering the gel on myself, within 5 minutes the pain was down to a manageable level. I'll need to ask my wierd little pal Corruptrix about this, because she knows a lot about this magick stuff.

So. I guess I'll stick with this trek for a while longer. I'd better have this killer vision pretty soon, or if I don't, they'll be finding a dessicated blue prophet buried upside down in the sand with only his feet showing.

I'm gonna try to get some sleep now, and see what happens tomorrow. Banky and lucky are already asleep in their tents, and pantysue's limo is parked up ahead and through the back window I can see the glow from one of the porno videos she has with her. Billyprophet is sitting a little distance away on top of a sand dune in some kind of a yoga-like position, and I assume he's getting another incoming message from Princess.

Geeesh... what a fucking day.....

little bitchass